Mamma Mia, here I go...

a few weeks ago my daughter, Lauren, got engaged...it wasn't what you would say a total shock...I'd known her fiance had the ring for a few weeks...and when she crossed the threshold of our apartment, and held up her hand...my stomach flipped...but just a little, as if the reality of it all had not been fully absorbed...about a week later, Mike and I were off for a long-planned vacation to celebrate our upcoming (November) 30th...timing...resting up before the roller coaster ride of planning...of doing your best to gently blend two families...to not offend although it is a given that someone will get pissed...and I thought back to my own wedding planning...and how I thought I knew it all...I looked at old wedding albums...a miniature of my mother's...my own...scrutinizing pictures of my mom and grandmother...mothers of the bride...and I realized that I am older now than any of them were then...deep pause...when I came back from the vacation, and even while away...I attempted sleep while lists of people danced in my brain...a daunting to do list...how much would I or should I do without morphing into a Momzilla?!?!…and I'll admit that it really did hit me as Mike and I pulled out of the catering hall parking lot, ink still fresh on the contract...my eyes welling up on the Meadowbrook...the planning, the agita, the joy will be here and pass so quickly...as it always does...I hope I can savor more than I might have as a bride...maybe the passage of time gives deeper appreciation of the gift of pure joy...I sigh...pass up on the cookie...dress shopping in the distance...hideous three-way mirrors...Lord, have mercy...and bless them...