Attack of the fitting room mirrors...

shopping for clothes...alone...is the biggest pain in the ass...you try to haul as much as you can in with you...multiple styles...sizes...and then pray...there I was yesterday...looking for a sweater  but thinking maybe jeans too...Lord have mercy...this is where that expression comes from...two sizes...three styles...you get it...but after crying exhaustion with the third pair...I realized I had only one size in the style I really liked...and it fit...well...until I sat...then breathing was optional...I meandered out into the store in their jeans...my socks...no one flinched...and couldn't find the next size...headed back to the fitting room disappointed...until I saw a saleswoman rolling a cart by me...I asked her if the next size was in the storage room...she looked me over...she said they didn't have it in the store...and besides..."they would be way too big for you"...she was my new best friend...I told her how these...pointing to their jeans that I could have walked out in...were tight when I sat...she claimed they would give and stretch...I was doubtful...and getting hungry...I went back to the fitting room...put my clothes back on...then I looked in those hideous mirrors with the poor lighting...oh you wonderful saleswoman...you know nothing about the plight of my people...my family...the genes...not the jeans...the plight of "groys pulkes"...I will translate...but the essence will be lost...it means big thighs in Yiddish...I sighed...bought the sweater...thinking salad for lunch...as I headed home...

Silence is golden...

Golden...Golden Bachelor...Golden Globes...it seems as days get shorter all is golden in entertainment...or is it?...first, the Golden Bachelor...or when we yawned towards the grand finale...was he really the golden grifter?...I will admit I did watch it...from weird, promising start...to pathetic, typical finale...all that seemed more real in the beginning...sincere, older bachelorettes...supportive sisterhood...was just business as usual...although watching rejection happen to these "older" women seemed a tad too real and painful...clutch my pearls...until the fan favorites starting showing up all over Instagram and everywhere in between...social media darlings...alongside the plastic young winners and runners up from past seasons...it is only days before these senior bachelorettes hawk products...become senior influencers...ugh...then the Golden Globes...a little history refresher...what once was a Saturday night blip on TBS became a primetime Oscar warm up...people took notice...kind of...it still was the Hollywood Foreign Press...a group I could have easily pictured on a small plane bound for...Epstein Island...and so the red carpet was what drew me in...wearing my January winter sweats, pale complexion and holiday weight...then Covid...then everyone pointing fingers at lack of inclusion...which was hysterical...what was the difference?...this was never supposed to be a serious critics darling...it was just a winter party where celebrities starved themselves...fit into -0 size gowns...got drunk...and rambled through acceptance speeches...but ok...no one wanted to host anymore...so this year they gave us Jo Koy...who?...oh, he's the stand-up guy whose career will be part of the Oscar dead montage...with the most cringe-worthy opening imaginable...I was hoping this was written by AI...because if it was a team of writers...well, this writer says - go back on strike...then odd pairings...inane banter...oy...today would have been David Bowie's 77th birthday...and Wednesday will mark 8 years since he passed...and I keep thinking of a line from his iconic song, Golden Years...just remember...before you click on anything else claiming to be golden..."run for the shadows in these golden years"...don't believe me...just ask the groundhog...