Monday, October 12, 2015

the ties that bind...

the monday after a family wedding weekend...feeling comes back to your feet...the hairdo is falling...and life resumes...saturday, i was fortunate to share in the celebration as mike's cousin, matthew, exchanged vows with our new beautiful cousin, marlye...now, let's see..math...i met mike's family in 1987...and matthew was...four!...there's a grey hair...waiting for the ceremony i looked behind me at my daughter, and nieces and nephew...smiling and radiant...adulthood snatching them so quickly...now they are only babies in worn photographs....that afternoon i had pulled out my wedding album...waxing nostalgic, if you will...there i was...the hair, the makeup...the staten island hairdresser who promised me subtle but looking so much more tess mcgill than tess of the d'urbervilles...and you all know the feeling as years go by...the ache for all faces smiling in pictures...faces no longer here...and so as i looked around that night at the party at all the new faces...i smiled...and then shared a drink or two with dear sisters-in-law, and cousins...and even a niece!...and laughed during selfies...watched the torch pass...and hope to be passing it in those tight heels for many years to come...

Saturday, October 3, 2015

the big chill....

joaquin...hurricane joaquin...almost behind us...had to load up on the entenmann's...in case of a power outage...the box is looking at me...oh, what the hell...my ass is gonna look big in that dress next week anyway...but back to joaquin...you gotta love it...a name no one can freakin' spell...hit or miss...kind of like a certain actor's career...but I digress...there it was...christie in his fleece...de blasio's 2015 tour interrupted....oh, and not to be outdone...fighting for lead story...massacre in oregon...putin shitting on syria...and me?...i had to pull out the long sleeves...slippers...pack the sandals away...sigh at fading tan lines...heat up soup for the first chill...and wonder...when did it really happen for me...or for you...when did the weight of this world leave me so cold...why does each tragedy elicit less of a response...this the new norm...and a dive into bad tv...or good...the latest novel...or obscure paperback on a sale rack...that pinot waiting for a special occasion...nothing really settles the unease...nothing really warms my core...i just find myself more cynical...more jaded...i pause to watch an ad for a local district attorney race...and one candidate claims the advantage...she is not a "politician"...i can't stop laughing...honey, the minute your name was entered you joined the circus...yeah, you all know the lyric...send in the clowns...don't bother they're here..