she stoops to conquer

and so now it is almost two weeks since we moved into our new condo...it is called an apartment suite...and it is spacious enough for the four of us...i do count donut, our cat, in the total, since if you know cats, he has established spreading and shedding rights in every room, nook and corner...but...we lived in a large center-hall colonial with a large unfinished basement ripe for throwing stuff...all the stuff you think you need...and so packing for storage when we had to, rather quickly, move to our rental was painful...we had months while the house was on the market to prep...and some of us did (me)...you get the picture...during the last panic days in the house...when closing was moved up a week just to definitively test the value of my blood pressure meds...we started that act of random throwing into boxes...generically labeling them...so when the storage company came, and we looked at such boxes, we had no idea what the fuck was in them...and so now as we unpack and try to put it all away...excuse me... i need to scream a loud silent scream and curse at the boxes...we are getting there...it also became fall somewhere in this mess and i suppose we will suddenly wake up one morning soon looking for jackets, socks and shoes...for my jewish followers, did you really expect anything less than the humid disgusting weather that was yom kippur?...i love fall but i get that sick feeling underneath it for what comes next...winter...i do take some solace that moving has removed the sheer terror that was my driveway during icy snowstorms when i could have invited olympic hopefuls to try their luge runs on that driveway...i try the optimistic approach...a new season..hoping it loosens the writers' block that's held me all summer (poetry)...so when leaves fall at my feet in a few weeks i can bend, let one slip through my fingers, smiling a box-free smile....

what's so funny 'bout peace love and understanding

hey, if you're gonna steal a song title, steal from the best? right...so here we are...september...squeezing the last days of summer and frowning at fading tan lines...and I am in moving hell...again...the last phase of our saga...from the rental on one side of the condo complex...to our new apartment on the other...sounds easy, right?...i keep muttering to myself...where did all this shit come from???...after all the donations, tossing, selling and packing in april...i thought i was ahead of the game...my daily list of appointments and calls makes me nauseous...the fact that i am not writing has me concerned...but there is a bright spot...i am too busy or exhausted to really see all the news...which is a very good thing...because the news leaves an empty spot somewhere inside...and i imagine it is the same for anyone reading this...it angers and saddens me that hatred hides behind claims of piety...the world is burning on the heels of the anniversary of 9/11...in advance of the holiest of days for jews around the globe...and i suspect far from coincidental...sometimes i feel 9/11 and the aftermath left me numb and unable to really feel fear...every bombing, assassination, heinous act...leaves a feeling of hollow resignation...i am the hostage...my mouth taped so i cannot scream...limbs tied so i cannot run...and so i turn the tv off...head to another box...and dive...way back to the past...wishing all who celebrate a very peaceful rosh hashanah...and even those who don't...may you and yours be wrapped in peace and love...