"one test begets another"...this said a few weeks ago by my doctor, in typical internist deadpan...but true...while being subjected to one CT scan ordered by one specialist...with a sliver of justifiable reason...your other organs are all out there...and if you are 61...you have opened Pandora's box...and now several weeks later...I truly have almost forgotten why there was a scan to begin with...I only know that two MRIs later I have been granted the right to breathe again...follow ups down the road...a pesky growth in the liver...a bit elusive...but ok...enough to cause the two MRIs...and a right arm filled with IV marks that make me look like a junkie...I hate MRIs...after a few minutes in the tube you are disgustingly aware of your own breathing...or about how your neck itches...and you want to scratch it but you can't...so that's all you think of...despite the ear plugs...the headphones playing music...classic rock my choice for the first MRI...and direction blasting over that...breathe in...hold...breathe...and your mind races...kind of like Woody Allen in "Hannah and Her Sisters"...yeah, we are not supposed to talk about Woody Allen...but tough shit...his writing was so spot on then...especially the fear simmering until you get test results...the bargaining you make...the promises you won't keep after they roll you out...for my second MRI there was no music...no inane hit from 1976 to drown out my inner monologue...ugh...so in between the second MRI...30 minutes of hell...and the results today...there was Valentine's Day...we went to a favorite restaurant nearby...and the tables were nicely spaced...couples softly talking...until we ordered and a table for four was seated behind Mike...we were laughing...enjoying being out...and then a guy at that table loudly pronounced, "Hillary Clinton should be executed"...I look at Mike...you probably know which way I lean...but actually, this isn't a political thing...but just common decency...it was freakin' Valentine's Day...and all through my appetizer and dinner I had to hear this loud asshole pontificate on every topic for which his knowledge could fill a thimble...again, Woody Allen...in "Annie Hall"...and the classic scene when Woody and Diane are on line at the movies...with Woody pulling out Marshall McLuhan (google the clip)...halfway through dinner I noticed the couple to my right roll their eyes...we ended up joking with them...but that guy kept going...staring at me...me staring back...I'm surprised he didn't explode into smithereens...but despite that, a lovely evening...and after my various appointments I feel pointedly reminded that we are all here on borrowed time...and Covid has stolen more of that unfortunately...best we enjoy everything we are given...everything we create...and don't forget to breathe...
