the road not taken

as we shift from winter to summer...(if you blinked you missed spring)...and bask in the heat and humidity...(everyone on the east coast is banned from kvetching after this winter-you must schvitz in silence)...i find myself thinking of choices we make...and one's life makes for us...and i know all this is started whenever i see a graduation post or read a commencement speech...it is not a feeling of melancholy or regret but more of astonishment at the swift passage of time...i found it really hitting me as i paused for a late lunch last week at café reggio in the village...it coincidentally was nyu graduation day...and although the large ceremony now finds its home at yankee stadium, when i closed my eyes i was immediately back 33 years ago in washington square park...a hot glorious day...marching with fellow school of the arts grads...we would be dubbed tisch that day after a hefty endowment...we marched from the old building on second avenue...we were loud, brass and scared...facing a dubious employment future at best...it was tradition that our school jumped in the fountains after  being officially deemed graduates...my bestie jeannine and i had heard the violet robes ran in the water...and we had dresses on anticipating a nice lunch with our parents after...so we held back a bit...or maybe it was all the champagne we had that morning...but those graduates in the fountains...that was always the picture you would see in the daily news...exuberance...defiance...joy...and now it is 33 years later...and there i was draining an iced coffee in the presence of newly minted grads and their parents...from which nyu division really didn't matter...the ache i felt at what was...what is...and what will be...it reminded me that it does the creative soul a little good every once in a while to walk those old familiar steps again...take in all that has changed...and cherish what's remained...and to never second guess what roads you have taken or passed by...it's the detours that define who we are...

the birdcage

"as i wandered out on the streets of miami, i said to meinself this is one fancy town"....back a few days from a trip to the promised land...well, the domestic promised land...and it feels like years ago, as all vacations do...yes, we were in miami...south beach to be exact...a somewhat quieter section, unlike the picture of nathan lane and robin williams forever in my brain...a quick vacation for sun and relaxation...a trip seemingly surrounded by birds...first the emu in front of mike...a woman who clearly should have paid for the seat with extra legroom...when she put her chair back she was practically in his lap...then just for added measure she had to blast her music and get her groove on...so now mike's tray is about to bust off the back of her chair...we were one plane seat malfunction away from paralysis...then there were the cute little birds by the hotel rooftop pool...actual birds...not exactly sure of the species...let's say they were like "swifties"...you know, taylor swift fans...once they start they don't shut the fuck up...but when they did the new cackling came from a group of rocker wannabees directly across from us...you know the type...jeans, black tee shirt...in 90 degree heat...arm sleeve tattoo...then removal of said shirt...and ew...omg...not david grohl...but david lee roth....the 2015 version...they pranced like peacocks but were really rooftop pigeons...the beach...the ocean...the turquoise horizon that melts all memory of winter and the spring that never was...the peaceful hum of the ocean and sunbathers...bright and yellow like canaries...until..."abuelo, abuelo, abuelo"...one billion times...a freaking mynah bird...and I want to scream..."answer your fucking grandkid"...but I turn to the sun instead and dream of meadowlarks...as I watch shore birds comb the sands searching for buried treasure I dig my toes in deeper...want to take the bird songs home...to help me soar above the three hour delay back to laguardia...and the cacophony of caged birds waiting to fly home to their nests