zoning out...

 yellow zone...orange zone...I feel like I am in the twilight zone...one thing is for certain...as you watch the numbers...they don't lie...this will be the winter of our discontent...and also...Lord save us...we are a dumb nation...Covid is not an abstract...it is not a political ploy...or a media fabrication...it is not just spiking in the south or the midwest...it is now an American horror story...coast to coast...and it is sneaky and lethal...turkey eve...this will likely be the strangest Thanksgiving in this nation's history...what is your family's side dish...compliance or defiance?...I'm subscribing to the former and trying to keep my chin(s) up...and truly be thankful for what is and not what was or could be...praying for recovery for loved ones and friends...hoping tomorrow's meal gives us real sustenance to buckle down and mask up for the next hurdle...wishing good health and peace during this altered holiday season...and that we can all work on crossing the Covid end zone together...

"I don't need your civil war..."

 ...it feeds the rich while it buries the poor"...how did we get here?...how do we stop the bleeding...how do we reach beyond the hype...deplorables...libtards...the seeds were planted long ago...under the watch of Presidents you loved and hated...or ignored while you stood in line for concert tickets...you turned a blind eye in the eighties...silently embracing the excess...but at what cost...and the divide started...by the time the towers fell the seeds had grown to vines which were holding back so many who wanted to join the success of fellow Americans...and we supported a war in anger and grief...a war that still rages and cripples us...the intellectualism of the last administration was a panacea for many...but stirred the wrath of just as many...and under it all the ugly roots of racism took firmer hold...you start yelling at me...at this blog...how that is not so...but everyone is racist at some level...it is part of early teaching...I don't necessarily mean your parents...your teachers...but your world during your minds' formation...what you saw...what was subtly indoctrinated...our current President's support and success is born out of rebellion...against moving too quickly away from what many felt to their core was the essence of patriotism...I could understand that to a degree four years ago...I cannot now...but whatever the outcome...we need to reach across the great divide...and for many it is at their dinner table...we are tearing this country down on the world's stage...if we do not trust the process that is our democracy...who will trust us...how will the final act play out as Putin and Kim Jong-un applaud from the cheap seats...

cold November rain...

we are almost 8 months into Covid...we are almost at election day, when we may know, or not know who will lead this country as we creep towards winter...and move indoors...and tempt our fate...we are tired...getting lazy...jaded and sloppy...and our medical community is pausing for a deep breath...getting ready once more...New York, once nearly the hottest Covid spot in the world...we are at the precipice...and I feel tired...don't you?...I look at my reflection on Zoom...and FaceTime...and in the mirror...and that scares me too...the virus takes its toll in so many ways...I desperately miss the movies, yet cannot bring myself to walk into a theater...fearing that I will look right...then left...see lowered masks...then walk...and for a devoted movie fan...I am sorry to inform...Netflix and any streaming service on your television or laptop at home does not replace that feeling as the lights fade in a movie theater...and you hear the hum and the previews begin...I will not discuss theater...because I will cry...there is nothing that will replace the feeling I would get as the lights would dim and the orchestra would play that first note...or the spotlight warmed the profile of an actor facing the audience and uttering the first word...nothing...I recently took some old vinyl from Mom's house...Broadway albums I played over and over in my youth...hoping to lift my spirits playing them on a vinyl turntable I bought a few years ago...the scratches and lousy acoustics heartwarming...the lyrics and chorus familiar and uplifting...because this is the reality...the warm breezes of Indian Summer are gone...the statistics more chilling than November rain...this Thanksgiving I will be thankful for never having to see another ad about Max Rose or Nicole Malliotakis...and I will be thankful that G-d has granted me and those I love good health...but also anger that the tables across this country will be smaller this year...that we may not sit together as we crave more than that favorite holiday dish...and that so many will have empty seats...Covid...and so more than the Macy's parade...or the svelte legs of the Rockettes...I wish crowded tables extending into oblivion next year...and this is what keeps me up at night...listening to the November rain on the roof...darkness in late afternoon...in 2020...