the cost of deflation

they say the third monday in january is the saddest day of the year...they call it blue monday...and at this point many would argue that the new england patriots should be blue...and not because of their uniforms...but for deflated balls...laugh track...and in this day and age when bowls are determined by balls...laugh track...i want to laugh...because i want this, the ultimate in distraction, to...well...distract...but it's the third week in january...and we are just a bit over one third into winter...not close enough to spring for me...and i am, hopefully, one week away from taking this freaking sling off my right arm...but that's only a small step in what is turning out to be a longer road to recovery than i thought...and i'm getting stir crazy...and i should just paste everything i eat...and don't eat...to my ass...and i am going to throw the scale out the window...and hope by some miracle that at that given moment tom brady just happens to be underneath...pretty boy face with the idiot knit hat...poker face as he claims innocence...yes...i hope he is there...with that uber-skinny bitch wife, giselle...and then maybe the spell of blue monday will be broken...then i would laugh till the sling ached...and so would peyton...and bridget moynahan...and my dad, up there, the ultimate giants fan...we'd all laugh at the cost of air in your balls...which as it turns out...is priceless...

let it go

a few weeks ago...one of my last days at work before my shoulder surgery...as i straightened up merchandise between the rush of christmas shoppers i playfully squeezed our talking olaf toy...and uttered the words out loud..."i never saw 'frozen'"..to which my boss and coworkers chimed "WHAT?" in disbelief...i told them it was on the dvr...that lauren and i meant to watch it a thousand times...and so there i was shortly after...planted on the couch watching it with lauren...it started true to disney form..taking me back to movie theater days when lauren was a very little girl...anyone reading this who had young children in the 90's will relate...about 10 to 15 minutes into any disney animated hit...before your little boy or girl has you running to explore the joy of public bathrooms in any given multiplex...there it is on the big ass screen...a parent dies...or parents...soon to be replaced by evil stepmothers, maniacal uncles,
witches, etc..to which your child turns to you and cries..."what happened?"...to which you scream, on the inside, fuck you disney..so now i am watching "frozen" and sure enough the parents are gone in a few minutes...and i'm waiting for the empowerment that is supposed to be the subtext...let's see...elsa, the sister of untold powers, finds her mojo by banishing herself on a cliff, unleashing a pretty cool ice castle and a disney-sexy gown to match...anna has to deal with two suitors, a reindeer and talking snowman in a hideous heidi-hand-me-down frock...despite the back story of romance, it is the sibling love that empowers these disney damsels...okay...a move somewhat forward...flash forward three weeks and i am watching "into the woods"...fully aware that with disney's paws on sondheim it will ultimately be sondheim-lite...and it may be why there is a visible seam in this movie...two thirds into it and then what to do?...this after all, is sondheim's view of fairy tales...not for children...but more how we treat each other...how we try to shield our children...who must confront all the good and evil there is..outside and within..to the children out there...all singing off-key...all the time...adele dazeem's "let it go"...remember too sondheim as you grow and venture your own paths..."sometimes people leave you, halfway through the wood. others may deceive you. you decide what's good. you decide alone. but no one is alone."...