2023...shake it off...

blog #246...in my poetic stream of consciousness since May 2012...and I find myself struggling...to write...to exhale...the world is on fire...and closing in...battle lines drawn for everything in life these days...pick a side...get eviscerated...because everyone is an expert...Tic Tok told them...hide in the greys...no opinion...no voice...another day...tangerine sunrise or Canadian fire skies?...get out of bed...get moving...just breathe...avoid the mirror at all costs...pick out a necklace...maybe the Hebrew nameplate...maybe not...watch what you post...what you say...what you write...politics...2020 redux with a vomit bag...Handmaid's Tale in Texas...minus the red cloaks...migrants and homeless...everywhere...all in the shadow of 700 million dollar sports contracts...and Taylor's billion dollar Eras tour...I am typing this wondering what AI would say...a middle finger to that for sure...the days evaporate as New Year's looms...as for the heavy weight of 2023...I guess a Swiftie would shake it off...but me...I am a "Joni"...looking for a river to skate away on...happy 2024!

Hatikvah

Simchat Torah 2023 will be one for the history books...I hope...why, you think, does she hope that such a dark day for Israel...and by extension all Jews...will be one for the books?...because of the unease I have had for years that my people will not be a warm and complicated chapter in this book of mankind...a chapter filled with angst and joy...unfathomable death...and then life renewed in the grasped hands of a hora...feet pounding hard...to stamp out the hate...no, my fear is we will be but a footnote pushed to the margin of a page...I have never been to Israel...it does not matter...there is a sadness about all of this that is quite intangible...the hope of an accord between Israelis and Palestinians is gone...it certainly will never come to pass with Abbas or Netanyahu...Abbas, a raging anti-Semite...and Netanyahu will never be able to erase the memory of rockets and blood from this generation's minds...and in my mind I keep hearing Hatikvah...the Israeli national anthem...it means the hope...when I hear it...it is the little music box that was in our menorah that I hear...we would light it each Chanukah in my childhood...the lights sparkling and the music playing...the light against the darkness of early winter evenings...the hope we would always be together around that menorah...as my heart breaks I try to remember that...that Israelis will sing again...light candles again in peace...until then, we, their brothers and sisters will do it for them...and with that I say amen...

the good fight...

last week I had the good fortune to attend a conversation about book banning...it was hosted by former Congressman Steve Israel...now a writer and owner of Theodore's Books in Oyster Bay...I remember him from another lifetime on the Hebrew School car pick-up line...but anyway...with him was Congressman Jamie Raskin...hopefully beating cancer for a second time...still mourning the tragic 2020 suicide of his son...member of the January 6th committee...a constitutional law professor for twenty-five years before political life...quite engaging in his bandana...was this the one given by Steven Van Zandt?...a man who truly loves our constitution and our democracy...and fights the good fight the best he can...and so I listened to spirited banter...and thoughtful and funny questions from the audience...the topic of book burning searing the hearts of this group of readers and thinkers...and I wondered...(oy, I sound like Carrie Bradshaw...the Mensa version)...what can I do?...the whole notion of book banning sends a lightning ripple of fear through my second generation Jewish American soul...it wounds the fabric of who I am as a writer...it leads me back to a phenomenal reading list in high school...in a Staten Island high school with no money...during turbulent times...would a high school student in southern states in 2023 be exposed to Solzhenitsyn, Camus, and Kafka?...or would it offend one parent who would have it ripped from the library bookshelf, or worse, curriculum?...how do I fight the good fight?...I think that's what everyone at this event was thinking...what are the answers?...voting...yes, but not enough...getting these banned books available where they are banned...yes, but...I think much of this boils down to reading...technology and social media...and teaching to test...have pulled this nation away from true literacy...we need to overhaul the educational system...the public educational system first...many who have had books removed from their schools...wait for it...never read them...so, my retirees who are looking for meaning in this new chapter of your lives...see if your local school or library is looking for reading tutors...and while you're at it...work on their writing too...so that they can compose more than a three-word text...that small child with an open mind will absorb all you can give...I'd like a future filled with Camus, not Boebert...the good fight starts page by page...k?

walk the line...

this past weekend I visited Music City...Nashville...for the first time...being 63...without a white dollar store pseudo-veil pasted to my head...and bride tribe in tow...well, I was something of an anomaly...but I like visiting cities in the south...the hello and friendly demeanor from strangers is refreshing to a jaded New Yorker...although, there is always a sense of sins of the fathers hiding in the corners...plantations still on the outskirts and ready for a tour...Mike and I concentrated on the music...not a better place to be for it...Grand Ole Opry...live music all over town...but there was the pesky Jason Aldean "small town" brouhaha popping up in news and social media that weekend...and there was his place front and center on Broadway...right next to Luke Bryan's...by Dierks Bentley's...you get the idea...but for me, and many others, Nashville is Cashville...Johnny Cash...his museum is a must...he was far from a perfect man...but a brilliant artist...and what he tried to do with his fame and voice for prison reform...his performances at Folsom and San Quentin...his writing about the need for change...was so ahead of his time...he found redemption in sobriety...and in the love of the remarkable June Carter...most of the country stars with their names plastered on bars and restaurants along the raucous streets of Broadway...aren't fit to lick his boots...when the endgame is the almighty dollar...and not the love of music...and some Almighty higher power...then don't buy into the dumb cowboy mea culpa act...google is in the palm of that phone in their hands...and so is history...the joke is on the fan who buys into it...then works overtime in his small town to buy the concert ticket...better to download "I Walk the Line"...listen to the gravely gold of Cash's voice...humility will set you free...

smoke gets in your eyes...

back in my twenties I had the good fortune of traveling as part of my job requirement...in Canada...I was single...living in a small studio in Astoria...no car, rent instead...and so, I went...Vancouver to Halifax...over the course of a few years...several days a month...I really liked Canada...even actively looked into getting a job in Toronto...not easy without citizenship...and gave up...settled for the required travel on the company dime...and saw a lot of a beautiful country...how ironic these days...putting masks back in my bag...checking the weather app with intent...oh, Canada...you're burning to the ground...after days of rather shitty summer weather here...Newark Airport, anyone?...newspeople are talking about air quality again...indexes...so even if the sun shines...how safe is it to lay outside?...for the southern half of our country...the smoke may never hit as bad...but the heat is literally killing them...and if not triple digits...there's always a tornado or two...which leads me to wonder...were there really only ten plagues for Passover?...is Moses wandering the burning fires up north?...any firefighters up there hear "hey, Aaron, hold my stick, eh?"...cough...cough...

falling down the rabbit hole...

"down, down, down. would the fall never come to an end!" ...I am having a hard time watching the news...and also, looking away from it...2023 is pushing us over the cliff...Flori-duh is on the precipice of becoming an actual dystopian society...the twit in charge of Twitter is an enabler...New York is being crushed under the weight of the old "give us your poor, your tired"...Nassau County...my county has given this country George Santos...his district a mere strip mall away from me....and the wonderful Nassau County Executive, Bruce Blakeman, who I only can surmise after his pathetic rally in NY this week, rates "Death Wish" as his favorite flick...it never stops...the Bronx is not burning, but killing itself with each daily innocent bystander shooting...and it's only May...the old expression...I'm too old for this shit could not be more appropriate...then this week...back in Flori-duh...Amanda Gorman's inaugural poem was banned by a school...the hair on the back of my neck is still standing...a guess it's dumb down the sheep...more compliant for the slaughter...the scariest sound has always been the silence of the lambs...fight back...what happens in one state, can happen in any state...Moms for Liberty, anyone?...remember the last line of "White Rabbit"...feed your head, feed your head...keep it out of the sand...read...write...raise your voice...vote...silence is complicity...

earth day and earworms...

and, so, we approach Earth Day 2023...it is going to be about 85 degrees this April 13th on Long Island...t-shirts and shorts and the trees are just budding...nothing much to worry about...superstition rules these days for me...after a non-winter in New York...the half-empty girl wonders about spring...worries about summer...wildfires lighting up New Jersey now...should we think about monster hurricanes here on Long Island this summer?...our exit road, the original highway to hell...then I stop and think about this earworm playing in my head this morning...this one for the nostalgic, half-full girl...1970 and the genius that was Sly Stone..."everybody is a star"...I don't remember even hearing it recently, but there it was as I woke today..."everybody is a star, one big circle goin' round and round"...hmm...so much of life is trying to swim forward...not let the current drag you down...so much is out of your control...beyond your reach...and I think about these lyrics..."you don't need darkness to do what you think is right"...and so, Mother Earth...I will keep recycling...watch my thermostat...walk more, drive less...and as I pour that glass each day...I will try to keep writing...the poems...this blog...the emails and letters to those who do good in government...remind them why they are there...and to those who are there for ego tripping...write to poke the conscience...if there is one...and write to remind people to think with their head not their fear...and live accordingly..."'til the sun that loves you proud when the system tries to bring you down"...not a bad earworm...

Woke up...and smelled the coffee...

Woke...like many words of generations...hip...groovy...far out...is actually in the rear view mirror...the associated harm some might feel it caused...that might take longer...but to use it as a campaign prelude...well...it's like Ron DeSantis is taking us all to Studio 54...but in the mid-80s...reopened...without relevancy...cancel culture and the over simplified "woke" do matter...but you know what else matters?...deeply rooted xenophobia...thinly veiled racism....anti Semitism... passed down as easily as eye color...from generation to generation...with most oblivious that their own behaviors are in direct opposition to what they claim to believe...let me tell you what scares me these days...aside from the entire world news broadcast every night...aside from the local news I scroll daily...what scares me right now...are book bans in libraries and school districts throughout this country...if you are thinking but wait...do children really need to read about these "things" so young...take a good look at the lists...they include many books that were...wait...on your damned required reading lists as a young student...in tandem with the book banning is the rise of groups like Moms for Liberty in Florida...on the surface, these are grassroots groups of mothers who want more involvement...more rights for parents...in the formation of school curriculum...and this sounds okay...on the surface...but they tend to circle back to "woke" and its dangers...and protect our children...from what exactly?...you see...that is wrapped in carefully worded rhetoric...Moms for Liberty has huge support from Casey DeSantis...their cause benefits from Ron's infringement on first amendment rights in education...and looking at their page...and researching...it's like a page out of The Handmaid's Tale...and they are all a bunch of commanders' wives...and Casey aspires to Jackie Kennedy...but is little more than Serena Joy...and Ron is the Republican's rising star...emerging from the swamp of lies he stirs so well...oh, Lord...woke...just give me the good old  70's...no money...no gas...no designer sneakers...no Twitter...just David Cassidy...just...I woke up in love this morning...

Would you like to ride in my beautiful balloon...

somewhere last week...between the painful to watch tragedy in Turkey and Syria...and the media circus surrounding all things Super Bowl...we started hearing about balloons...and seeing balloons...then watching special reports about shooting them down...then listening to people eviscerate the Biden administration...only to hear that there have been several balloons in the last few years floating over the U.S...under Trump's watch as well...reality is always crazier than fiction...this falls under "shit you can't make up"...speculation is rampant over what's inside...are these just lame spy missions from China?...is it Oz looking for Kansas?...or Kansas looking for a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame invite?...or is it the Wuhan bat who certainly is in need of fresh p.r.?...China accuses us of having flown at least 10 balloons there or some shit like that...we are in the school yard...finger pointing...circling...blood boiling...Putin is buying popcorn...but don't sweat it...you can always scroll and read the comments about Rihanna's Super Bowl Half Time show...about how it was boring or where were the collaborations...or...blah...blah...blah...she's pregnant...and from the looks of it...pretty far along...and she balanced herself on a sky high platform and made it look effortless...her critics can't even balance their asses on a rush hour E train...there is not an artist out there that the masses would agree on...we are all too cynical...too scared and too tired...we almost watched a rising young football star die on the field last month...and we roar at the giant flatscreen tv's and overeat and drink too much and bet what we don't have...all at the throne of a bloodthirsty sport...so...what to do deep in this winter of 2023...rustle up some spare change...donate to earthquake relief...if you've got school aged kids...keep lobbying for safety in team sports...and as for these balloons...just put Rihanna back on that platform...she's fierce and pregnant...she'll drop kick it to the heavens...like diamonds in the sky...

40 is the new...

40 is the new reality...40 mass shootings since the new year was ushered in...40...a number used frequently in Scripture...both Old and New Testament...if Moses were up on Mount Sinai today...and knew of the carnage...would he bother coming down?...what would Jesus say to his disciples after the resurrection if he saw the anguish?...would faith be enough?...what world have we fashioned for next generations?...if we get there...I realized after the second shooting in California...that my mind cannot retain the details of one massacre when it is quickly supplanted by the next...I felt that happening the last few years...particularly when we emerged from Covid quarantine to an angry and violent society...that the sheer horror of it all would need to be buried...and the need to flip the TV channel to something mindless and numbing was overwhelming...I finally understood why the Bachelor franchise lives on...why so many cheer on the WWE...we don't want to think...it has become too painful...instead we watch from the safety of an old worn couch...and text our friends...ignore the news flashes on phones...or glance quickly and feel perverse comfort if it's happening in another state...miles away...I am often reminded these days of something my mom said to me years ago...always watch something funny before bed...the news will give you nightmares...at 10:59 pm the local networks brag of breaking news...Seinfeld, anyone?