the unicorn always rings twice....

this past May, at my annual, my gyno told me I was in the 1%...at 57...if you're not sure what he meant, let's just say that yes, for a few days a month I still could probably get away with most homicides with a predominantly female jury, sprinkled with some terrified males...as he said it to me...1%...I thought to myself, you had to be an over-achieving shit at this?!?...but then when I listed some new complaints his smile disappeared...a few weeks and many tests later and there I was in surgery friday...the secret of a somewhat youthful glow erased instantly...which begs the question...what really does it mean to be a woman?..why is age not revered in our society?..who sets the bar and determines our worth?..and ultimately, had the true essence of who I am been wiped from the slate?...now, granted, up until Friday, I really had a long crazy ride well into my fifties...and actually I've been walking a tightrope of the before and after for endless months...but today, as I write this...as I stare at the computer screen waiting for divine inspiration...occasionally fingers flying on those keys, avoiding the matter at hand...I contemplate the road ahead...and while always hoping for the best...praying for the strength for all else...I think this journey of womanhood is really a helluva roller coaster ride...it's a one ticket deal with no second chances...and so I'll continue on...ascend that next hill...eyes open...arms up in the air...yes, even with that, ahem, arm jiggle...screaming, laughing, stomach through the floor...the bracing wind of life through my hair...writing the next chapter...then probably forgetting it the next minute...but mostly, hoping to see you all with me...strapped in beside me...coasting those hills, off to the horizon...