nypd...blue

let me preface this post...i am not a cop...or a retired cop...or child of...and this post...these feelings are not a pulpit stand for left or right...black or white...or the real grey we all live with in between...this is for a sadness...a profound sadness...a real deep blue...this morning as i griped about all the fun my ten-day post shoulder surgery is...and the real delight of a sling on my right arm...the same that will make this posting proceed at a real turtle pace...yes, after saturday morning kvetching i put on the tv...and there it was...the funeral for the late detective ramos...and there was that tear...or two or three...hard to look away...hard not to feel flush with sorrow...bratton's eulogy was the real tear inducer...the boston accent rolling in a sea of genuine sorrow...i kept thinking who the hell wants that job...and being a film fan i cannot escape the bits and pieces that play in the reel always turning in my mind...a fictional soundtrack for warped reality...it was al pacino..."sea of love"...and that crazy line...defending himself to ellen barkin...something like, "in the wet-ass hour we are everybody's daddy"...and as i watched that sea of blue today i did think of what nypd does and must do day in and day out...again, this is not a debate over what needs fixing...what doesn't...it is really just a humble realization...and thank you...for men and women who do what would repel most...when every hour...every minute on the job may end in a day like this...a day when every new yorker..present and past...is nypd...blue