ball of confusion

so there I was...Broadway...back in a theater...first time since early March 2020...before the shit hit the fan...theater is different in this world of Covid...and no...we are not post-Covid...we may never be...and even double vaccinated, boostered, masked...there is pause when the person sitting next to you is almost in your lap...the Imperial Theater...home to "Ain't Too Proud" is an oldie...which prompted a women a few seats down to comment during intermission...how small were people when it was built???...or is it the double whammy of that and Covid caboose...anyway...it is sad for me to admit...and I hope so much it changes...but much in the way that I felt last week...nestled in my seat at an early afternoon showing of "Belfast"...only 10 of us sprinkled throughout the audience...the thrill is not gone...but dulled...Covid has numbed my sense of joy...and that leaves me angry...but at who?...or whom?..."Ain't Too Proud"...there they were in front of me...an amazing cast...singing the incredible repertoire of the Temptations...songs that I know so well...the earworms of my youth...when they got to singing "Ball of Confusion"...well...I perked up...written over 50 years ago...not much has changed...and so when we venture out...try to resume life as we know it...there is a low flame of fear burning inside...fear of the intensity of this virus...fear of the growing unrest and violence of our immediate world...and fear that we are powerless in the face of all of it...maybe it's all like riding a bicycle again...wobbly and shaky the first time or two...then soaring with the wind in your hair and not a care in your mind...the sound bites and inane social media kings and queens can't rule you...you've reached a perfect state...and jump from your seat to applaud...like the Temptations sang...cloud 9...