Sweeter than honey...

 5781...that is the year it will be this weekend as we celebrate Rosh Hashanah...the Jewish New Year...and I am thinking...is there a prayer stronger...more fervent and heartfelt...and communal...than for this year to be over...but alas...we are a few months from 2021...the New Year's eve clock hitting midnight...when this shit show...known as 2020 ends...this past April...when we were trapped inside at Passover...praying that Covid would pass us over...and it did for many...but for so many others it did not...weren't we all hanging on to that thread of hope that we would be seated at tables with family and friends Rosh Hashanah...and now again we adjust...and maybe stop thinking too far ahead...it is too depressing...I'm thinking of Rosh Hashanahs of years ago...the wonderful aromas from kitchens...the sparkle of crystal...setting after setting...always room for one more...the hugs and smiles...and now it leaves me wanting...feeling like a hamster in a cage...stuck in that wheel going nowhere...watching honey drip from that spoon onto apple slices...which we eat to symbolize the eternal hope for sweetness in life...and this year I think we should wish each other the following too...may we be healthy...and live so that we might look back on these turbulent times...and close our eyes in thanks...amen

We Need a Hero...

life is all about timing...some celebrity deaths are a footnote...not necessarily a reflection of how much they contributed...or were loved and admired...but more because they happened to die in the shadows of larger world or national events...in normal times, this might have been the case with Chadwick Boseman...people would have read it and gasped...at his young age...at the fact that he was fighting cancer while delivering incredible performances...how we never knew of his personal battle till his death...but these are not normal times...and I do not need to tell you that...this summer...the soaring temperatures...horrific storms...these have been the footnote as our country is burning and lashing out...in a state of near collapse under the weight of racism...and the denial of such...such is the agony of change...and people do not like change...and while living under the constant shadow of Covid, it is painful...so then how to we exact change...how do we cause "good trouble" that furthers greater understanding...I think there is a direct correlation between the obsession with Marvel and super heroes, and our current state of affairs...we search for the qualities of Superman...Wonder Woman...and Black Panther...in our would-be leaders...or we realize that futility, and before Covid, settled into our cushioned movie seat, armed with popcorn and the desire for pure escapism...what Chadwick Boseman gave as he became Black Panther...and he did...was a leveling of the playing field in movie representation...and for millions of children of color around the world...pride...what he gave us in his choice of biopic movie roles was an exquisite look into great, and flawed black men of the 20th century...and it saddens me to think of what else he may have shown with his talents...this summer we deal the loss of two great black men...John Lewis, and his towering contributions to the civil rights movement...and Chadwick...and his breaking the barrier of what a superhero looks like...and what that meant for all the young children who loved him through Black Panther...as we reflect on this I can only hope they are looking at this chaos we call life with benevolence...and that they use some superhero powers to exact some peace here on earth...

Watch your P's and Q's...

 that would be your posts... and QAnon...we are now deep in the rabbit hole...Facebook and social media, for that matter, have been close at hand through the covid quarantine...and aside from binge watching a never-ending supply, and cost, of television series...that Facebook crawl was ready at hand for weeks...we are upset and tired...not just physically, but emotionally and mentally...and many are ripe for the picking...if you don't know what QAnon is...or if you think...so what?...you'd better pay attention...many of those memes or posts you're sharing having originated in conspiracy accounts...and you are unwittingly strengthening their reach and influence...this includes the "Save the Children" posts about trafficking and pedophilia...which circle back to Pizzagate...oh, you thought we were done with idiocy?...now Marjorie Taylor Greene, a candidate for the Georgia House...who will most likely win as she is the Republican candidate in a traditionally red district...is a supporter of QAnon...as well as deep Islamophobia and anti-Semitic tropes about Soros...and felt the need to call Pelosi a bitch after her win...oh, and Ms. Greene...before you yell about Muslims and their influence...maybe I should remind you 3 out of 435 in the House are Muslim...but who needs math and percentages if you have Facebook and Twitter...and the praise of Trump...you know...I'm beginning to think when we repent for our sins this Yom Kippur...or when we ask forgiveness in mosques...and repent in churches...we should mention the sin of social media which seems to have taken away our ability to process critical thinking...and Mark Zuckerberg...you should start fasting and asking forgiveness for what you've unleashed just about....now...

Martha, My Dear...

I miss my aunts in the summer...oh, I miss them year round, but the summer memories are most vivid...Brooklyn beaches with Aunt Sharyn...all it took was one glance and I was in stitches as I knew exactly what she was thinking, as the knish man lingered by our blanket...and Aunt Harriet...summers in the sixties at Lake Carmel...and then Montauk...her contagious laugh sailing in the wind...her loving smile in the sun...and I think many times about my great-aunts...my Grandmother Bella's sisters...Ida, Dinah, Irene, Shirley and Martha...and have to shake my head and laugh about my Great-grandfather Sol...six daughters!...the Tevye of a shtetl in Romania...and then Brooklyn...I look inwards for memories...and they are there...crowded seders...family weddings and bar mitzvahs...but it is my Friday night memories of the seventies that crest to the top...over the Verrazano back to Brooklyn...cramming into my grandparent's kitchen...impromptu Shabbos...coffee and homemade cookies and loud, loud talking...my Great-aunt Ida lived in that same apartment building so you never knew which cousins would be there...when I think of those Fridays...I always think of my Great-aunt Martha...the youngest of those six sisters, who passed away yesterday, just a few weeks shy of 92...my memories are of an independent, loving woman...single, when marriage was expected...a great conversationalist...and listener...talking with me about books and movies and whatever I wanted...I cherished those moments when I really got to know Martha...and my large extended family...a family that is now spread out across this country...as so many families are...we keep track of each other on Facebook...and now even Zoom...we do not see each other for years...but still kvell at the good news...and cry at the bad...and it really gave me pause to realize that dear Martha was the last of those Blitman girls to be with us...and with her passing a generation goes too...and so I wish that our dear Martha's memory be for a blessing...amen

It's a cruel, cruel summer...

so here we are...the hot days of July...four months since NY shut down in the battle against covid...and the latest report for NYC...zero deaths...amazing...incredible...don't get too excited...I mean smile for a minute...with a mask if you're outside...because I keep remembering the scene towards the end of "The Perfect Storm"...(spoiler alert)...you know the scene where Mark Wahlberg and George Clooney are all excited...they think they've steered the shitty fishing boat out of the storm...and then that big ass Poseidon Adventure sized wave looms ahead...that's how I've been feeling lately...as our country plays whack-a-mole with covid...cases down in one state...up in another...then up, up, up...I seriously wonder if we, as a nation, have the stamina and fortitude for this war...think back to what generations before us endured during World War II...think about Anne Frank...761 days in that attic...people these days can't go 761 minutes without a frappuccino...rational thinking subverted by conspiracy theories and the blame game...gaslighting, the deluxe edition...so bottoms up...breathe that ocean air safely while you can...enjoy that iced coffee under a park tree...catch up 12 feet apart outside under a tangerine sunset...then, how does the expression go?...pull up the big girl (or boy) pants...and settle in for the next battle...we can do it...just ask Rosie the Riveter...

I wish...

the day before Lauren's birthday...and, as every parent does, I reflect on what I wish for her...there is no need to look at today's news...I know this is not the world I wish for her...but before those of us wax nostalgic...us tail-end boomers born as the fifties traded poodle skirts for bell bottoms...let's not get all choked up over better times of our youth...the sixties...assassination nation...Medgar Evers...John F. Kennedy...Malcom X...Martin Luther King Jr....Robert Kennedy...and Vietnam tossed in for good measure...and civil rights?...black men and white men side by side...floating in the Mekong...the seventies...well they were ushered in with Kent State...but Lauren's generation...Columbine...911...a Middle East war with no end...Sandy Hook...and now...a pandemic...civil unrest demanding change that never seems to come...and a recession...or perhaps worse...this past New Year's Eve...when everyone dressed like flappers to usher the "Roaring Twenties"...they should have cracked a history book...and would have seen a decade that began with the Spanish Flu...and ended with the crash of 1929...maybe not the best theme in retrospect...what I wish...change that creates stronger community...elevation and admiration of our scientists...an economy that benefits and encourages all...respect and tender treatment of this earth we've been entrusted to...and, yes...like Miss America...world peace...but mostly what I wish is that this virus is eradicated...so I can see a beautiful array of smiles in the streets...in the sun...and most especially...our children smiling at us...

waiting to exhale

there is this point...this tipping point...where your brain cannot absorb anymore...this world already leaving your heart broken...you enter a state of inertia...you go through whatever routine you have been left with...or moved back to...you wake up...you get dressed...and you blink, are back in bed...repeat...it is almost summer solstice...the long days of late spring and early summer are upon on us...and the maddening news of the nation is a drum beat constant and steady under the drone of your heartbeat...but there are moments...like during a walk last week...when the delicious aroma of a fresh mowed lawn crept under my cotton mask...and I remembered so far back...working in the city in the summer...walking home from the bus stop on Richmond Avenue...hot and sticky...and the sprinklers on pristine square lawns gently waved hello to me...calling to me with each sweaty step...until I slipped off my heels...and walked across a random lawn...baptized in the cool spray and pungent smell of the earth...and all was right...as I take baby steps into the new normal...a work in constant revision and uncertainty...exhaling my fear into flowered cotton...I'll be thinking of the simple joys...watching a blazing summer sun sink into a starry sapphire sky...