brussel(s) sprouts...

march plods on...a holy weekend for so many...the pastel colors of easter float around me...but belgium...oh, belgium...images of fine chocolate vaporized in a media minute...again we watch...and look away...pray quietly to whatever higher spirit we seek in these moments...you cannot rationalize what is never rational...and you wish for just one moment that everyone would shut up and not try to further a professional or political agenda while the blood hasn't dried in subway stations and on terminal tiles...there is humility in the realization of how little we can control...and so in this little blog...i ask that if you celebrate this weekend...say a prayer for those around this globe who long to pray but cannot...and then say one for those lost in brussels who no longer can...and i will do the same next month with my loved ones at our passover table...then maybe...only for a moment...love will win

"he vould have an enormous schwanzschtucker"

it is march...the campaigns forge on...the republican field narrows...you can smell desperation through your tv screen or phone...because we now have come to this...i'll bet jeb (or as i call him "just enough brains") is glad he went home...carson too...and without frau fiorina on the stage the latest debate became a scene from "american pie...the younger years"...it is hard to fathom...and embarrassing...for whether or not this is your party...this is supposedly the same party that gave us reagan...dole...mccain...but now...it's the roar of the crowd...shouting...yelling...and, yes, the size of your dick...which is appropriate if you are watching at home...since we are the ones getting screwed...but truly...why not just do the right thing...present this as a wwe event...let's get ready to rumble..."teflon trump"..."robotic rubio"..."crafty cruz"...and "kill me so i can go home kasich"...fox should carry it...a nice lead in to idol...vote one off each week...hmm...then i thought about this...maybe we should go really old school...like the romans...lions and an arena...but being an animal lover i couldn't...after all...eating one of these guys...full of hot air and no substance...they would just give those lions gas...

look before you leap...

2016...a leap year...extra day...now, if this happens to be your birthday...yea!...go you!...unless you're on the other side of 50...then maybe stick with march 1st...but seriously...an extra day of february...ah, that monthly commuter ticket thanks you...an extra day of winter...your dry skin thanks you...but an extra day of campaigning...no one thanks you...well, can't speak for all of you...but for me...i am done...i was really done when it started...and you cannot get away from it...because for the three media seconds that are not spent on the election...you get to hear about kanye's broke ass or another slashing in the big apple...or maybe it'll be winter storm "we didn't catch this one on the radar so you're stuck inside for three fucking days watching the weather channel and candidate debates"...yes, i am done with political promises, non-political assurances and analysis from pompous pundits...i moved to nassau county almost four years ago...with a tax structure that would make ponzi blush...and now this corrupt county had to hire a compliance chief...yes, another salary...for someone to literally oversee and babysit elected officials...oh, don't get me started...it's bottoms up folks...if it stinks at the bottom it rises to the top...ah, leap year...what we all really need is a leap of faith...and not the kind packaged for our consumption at the top...no, just the kind that helps us get out of bed in the morning...to keep trying to fight the good fight...raise our kids to care in a very unforgiving, and uncaring world...and catch them when they forget to look before they leap

what's love got to do with it....

several days ago...as i navigated through the costco parking lot...two days after yet more snow on long island...i observed the masses heading for the store entrance...having been deprived of bulk food shopping for 24 hours...looking like the walking dead...and then i heard yet another radio ad for valentine's day...and thought about it...someone once said to me years ago...it's just a hallmark holiday...and there is some truth to that statement...after all...what better way for retail to recoup the losses of january's Christmas returns...and i also remembered...not too fondly...the times when after struggling only weeks earlier to secure new year's plans...there i was again...hoping for more than a night of bad pre-cable tv on valentine's...that double punch if it fell on a saturday...flash forward and i was the mom buying packaged cards filled with disney princesses...crayons and markers...the deep desire for acceptance buried in each little card's catch phrase...and as we would pack them in a backpack i thought...lord, what's love got to do with this?...paper and chocolate dictating your worth...yesterday, i was at the register in macy's...and the salesgirl was joking with her co-worker..."just give me a date for valentine's, hell i don't care if we break up the next day"...i smiled at her and joked that valentine's and new year's were like the prom revisited each year...and she laughed in agreement...but somewhere deep inside she'd meant it...and i looked at her and thought...in the name of love?...not...screw you godiva!

"well i got some beer and the highway's free"..."

bruce!!!!...who better to lift you out of the winter doldrums...especially after days of navigating snow piles mile high...and slush corners river deep...so where did it start for you?...was it way back?..."greetings from asbury park"...born in the usa"...or more of a legacy passed down from your parents...for me it was 1981...the ultimate cultural exchange between close friends was about to unfold...me and jeannine...nyu days...i would share my love of ballet...and slight obsession with a certain male ballet star...hmm...what is the name...oh, yeah...baryshnikov...and then exactly on my 21st birthday...lincoln center...american ballet theater...misha (68 today!)...paired with cynthia gregory...we were left breathless with his first jete...and then that summer...the old brendan byrne arena...it was jeannine's turn...bruce!!!...half way through the concert..."sherry darling"...jeannine turned to our section screaming, and pointed at me..."her name is sherri"...and everyone turned around singing to me, beer flying...and when it was over...it was off to the record store...there have been several bruce concerts since then...and without fail...no "sherry darling"...oh, he would sing it on occasion...just in other cities...on other tours...so when "the river" tour was announced...i dutifully logged on to ticketmaster...waited...walked away from the laptop...and by some miracle two tickets popped up...so there we were last night...waiting...when a group sat down behind us...a bit older...a lot louder...obnoxious loud...reminded me of a classic woody allen line...what i would give for a sock of manure...but ok, i thought...who cares?...bruce, right?...and then it happened...they started discussing "sherry darling"...the "throwaway" song of the album...one guy defended it...loved it...couldn't wait...wanted to shake his hand...but the other one wouldn't shut up...and then his wife chimed in..."oh, he's going to sing the river?"...you know...you can't make this shit up!...thankfully, the roar of the band and crowd drowned them within minutes...and third song...well, you know...and i almost turned to sing (with a twist)..."he keeps talkin' he'll be walking that last block"...but, what the hell...hey, hey, hey...not this, sherri darling...

cause i'm already standing on the ground...

death is coming in multitudes of three's...it's drowning the soundtrack of my youth...and hurts on these short, brutally cold days...it allows no respite from the media-driven squawking these days...the discourse of our nation...the discourse of our globe...and there's that sudden skip your heart does when you realize that your age...and the age of those who've passed...well, that's a small gap...natalie cole...who lived longer than the ravages of her youth should have allowed...but that voice...that range...david bowie...androgynous beauty...limitless talent...the biting "suffragette city"...the sad and sweet "changes"...hypnotic "let's dance"...but it wasn't enough...glenn frey...who now will never sit in that box at the kennedy center...and watch his music eloquently dance below...will never marvel at the full circle that rock and roll can be...all now part of maudlin montages and social media excess...sadly, because although they may be our soundtrack...a song from that old transistor radio...turntable...car speaker...boom box...concert venue...cd...iphone...let's get some perspective...they're never going to be that empty seat at christmas or thanksgiving...they're sweet footnotes...or footprints in your memory...ah, but on nights like these...i'll admit...breaking out an old cd...i'll close my eyes...longing for that peaceful, easy feeling... 

the 100 blogs war...

so here it is..blog entry #100!...what started as a lark to keep me writing in may of 2012...still lives as we cross into 2016...and the cliché of mental resolutions continues as well...to write more...read more...and most importantly...listen more...to publish that second book...although as life kicks me around since that first book was published late 2010...isn't it always like that?...i stop and think about intent and result...and realize that trying to conform to the restrictions of small press agents and contests...well, that compromises intent too much...and so i will probably go it alone and self-publish one way or another...and that's fine...when i think about art and expression...all art...the most important result is not the sale (although some dollars would be nice)...it is striking a chord in the viewer...the listener...or reader...and making that tenuous connection...this year brought two performances in film that shook me to the core...and i suppose neither will get the recognition so deserved...blythe danner in "i'll see you in my dreams" and nina hoss in "phoenix"...the subtle power...love and survival...raw and ugly and beautiful...and affirming...and so we go on...maybe more focused for a few weeks...we try to keep our footing on life's slippery curves...wishing everyone the new year they wish for...and the life they deserve