losing my religion

summer...supposed to be a time of long days at the beach...sweet tea on the porch...ice cream melting in your hands...and catching fireflies in mason jars...but this summer all is chaos...and although the temperature is somewhat tepid here...the world is burning...for long islanders, body parts on lawns in hempstead...machetes...planes landing on roadways, and more...but it distracts from the real inferno...the world...a second malaysian airline catastrophe...and not one nation can seem to get past ukrainian rebels to bring those bodies home...i watched one dutch mother's anguish on tv and had to look away...and i avoid the most painful...israel...hamas has brilliantly created a cesspool of epic proportions that i fear israel can never crawl out of...without shit on their hands...and the world responds...a synagogue filled with worshippers stoned in paris...and not the first time...it goes on...if you think all of this doesn't strike every jew...the most observant to the most self-proclaimed "casual" one to the core...well...makes me think of the southern expression...losing my religion...losing one's civility...at the end of one's rope...sometimes i put that silver peace symbol on in the morning (one that i'd been searching for and found a few weeks ago in a little shop in port jefferson.)..sometimes i just put that on like a wreath of garlic against the vampires...and i pray when i turn that phone on...and scan the news...that this world will be metered some measure of peace

ain't nothing but a dream...

richie havens is following me this week...or i should say his beautiful "follow" is...the radio...there again, wonderfully used in two movies i caught on tv...having seen both so many times..."coming home"..."a walk on the moon"...two stories about women finding their identity in fast changing times...and i mull over all of it...world anguish in the middle east now, far east then...this being july...later this month it will be the 45th anniversary of the infamous walk on the moon...when you look back and put that in the context of the tumult that was the sixties...and the violence of the later sixties...you've got to shake your head and think what a gift that moment was for this nation...to allow everyone to get lost in space for a few minutes...i sit here and wonder...will there be relief from the incessant body count...when do we get to turn down the noise we've created and embrace something collectively...where is our walk on the moon...because if you sing it softly and with purpose...we surely will follow..

summer wishes, winter dreams

i am looking out my window...and the sun is glorious...the birds are chirping...and i am getting ready for work (bleh)...summer has begun...in all its hot, frizzy glory...after a horrible winter and a spring that never showed up...I ask you...then why do i always get that little twinge at summer solstice with the realization that the days now shorten...albeit slowly...but still...almost the way I mentally bargain at the winter solstice...this darkness too shall pass...and i am struck by the thought of how much we bargain with time...particularly as we age...the past few weeks i have had the good fortune to find some old college friends via social media...we exchange life stories and memories...and suddenly, if but for a brief moment, we are back in time looking at our younger selves...and then i look at my daughter...turning 23 this week and older than i was in those faded videos and snapshots...and marvel at the swift passage of time...and think that the greatest birthday wish i can give to her is to not bargain with father time...but just embrace each day the best you can as the adventure and gift it is...and then, reality sets in...how quickly would her eyes roll at the thought...which brings to mind the last line of "the turning point"..."oh, emma, if only she knew what we know now"..."it wouldn't matter worth a damn"

who'll stop the reign?

it is raining...again...and after this past winter i don't think we should have any rain this summer (even if it's not really summer, yet)...well, maybe one afternoon a week...because if it was beautiful out every day then i would never sit at the laptop to write...and then I would feel guilty..and i am rambling...today's rant is about those brilliant sisters....who have contributed so much to our culture...no, i am not talking about the brontes...but the kardashians, of course...because last week...while more girls were kidnapped in nigeria...while 5 of our own were killed in a horrific episode of "friendly fire"...while we lost ruby dee...and, even on lighter notes, when broadway's brilliant audra mcdonald made incredible tony award history (6 tonys, all four acting categories and she's only 43!!)...we get to hear about kourtney...is she pregnant...do we care?...we get to hear about kim and kanye's second honeymoon...see her fat ass in a white bikini...hear about him turning 37 (that's 5 in kanye tantrum years)...thankfully, the real nitwit, khloe, was in absentia...and i want to know...actually beg...can someone take the spotlight from them...someone with real talent...make it easier to wrap my brain around it...how about some kick ass sisters to take the reign...like the wilsons...ann and nancy, of course...

Come what may(a)...

i am sitting here...the last day of may...and thinking about the passing of maya angelou...and her legacy both culturally and spiritually...and have to admit...that although i call myself a poet...i have read only some of her work...as is the case with many great poets...it is really not something that i do out of laziness...but more out of fear...that i will immerse myself in the beauty of great poets and my own pen will be silenced...or i will lose my voice when i write when trying to emulate another's...in april i had the good fortune to attend the academy of american poets "poetry and the creative mind" event at lincoln center...it was the second year i went...the event celebrates national poetry month by inviting actors, poets, chefs and other celebrities from various paths to read some great poetry...anyway, i opened this year's program and there it was...miss angelou's "still i rise"...to be read by rosie perez...i know some of you are grinning...rosie perez?!?..she had to excuse herself for the first half of the program...a coughing fit...she made it back and it was her turn to hit the podium...the beginning was a bit tentative...the signature nasally full-on-new yawk voice almost afraid of the task...but midstream something happened...and the words were not just on the paper...or from memory...but from somewhere deep inside...and when she finished the applause...thunderous...and that is the real beauty of poetry...great poetry...the chord it touches within each of us...still i rise...perhaps the greatest gift miss angelou bestowed was a voice for the mute among us...an introduction to the masses to what poetry can be...and a kick in the ass to this writer to keep writing...the poetry of our stories will always rise...

a price above rubies....

coming home from mom's (nj) to me (long island)...sans auto, so I could take care of some "city" things...I found myself thinking...quite a bit...the thoughts were an extension of a poem I recently wrote about how it feels at this moment being a woman in her fifties...about how difficult it can be to stand tall when society tries to diminish my worth with each candle on the cake...it's easy to sell yourself short...the media slams us everyday with images of our Hollywood counterparts..."wow, see how she looks at 40, 50, 60..." blah blah blah...I'm thinking yeah, she's had more work done than the belt parkway...to add to these feelings...many of us find ourselves in the job market...again...trying to reinvent ourselves...again...competing with our own children and their contemporaries...ouch....and so I thought about the beautiful phrase...a price above rubies...and became a little introspective...and thought of so many of my friends...close and even casual...all of a certain age...and thought...never let anyone or anything compromise your feelings of self-worth...age is beauty and our worth is far above the prices of rubies...yeah...put that on the resume!

a day in hollywood, a night in the ukraine

the news makes my head hurt...not the lead stories...about the size of kim's ass or the possibility of george being off the market...uh, like he was ever on the market for me, or anyone reading this...but we dream...anyway...it is the real news that causes frown lines...the news about a ferry full of innocent south korean high school students sinking...about missing nigerian girls...and mostly about ukraine...whether or not each story is valid the tone is...putin is marching and anti-semitism is alive and strong...as it always has been...but more so lately...buried deep after stories of beyonce and bieber and all other forms of distraction...i wonder if maybe the greatest history lesson we can teach younger generations is that how it repeats itself...despite hopes and claims to the contrary...so we close our eyes and wish for the happy ending...but it keeps me up...when I think that hitler began his merry march in 1933...and the attack on pearl harbor wasn't till 1941...eight years...i guess it was eyes wide shut...or maybe everyone reading about what vivien wore to the "gone with the wind" premiere...or who clark's date was...makes me think of that old play title...a day in hollywood...a night in the ukraine...