lions and tigers and bears...oh my!

"someone told me it's all happening at the zoo"...saturday at the bronx zoo...me, and mike, and lauren...originally billed as a "please go with me so i can finish my damned anthropology paper" by lauren, the day actually became a nice "family" moment...as we crossed the entrance we realized that the last time we'd been there was about 14 years ago...too long...map in hand, we plotted our course...first stop...the lions...basking in the warm noon sun were simba and nala...the fence was jam-packed with families...toddlers on shoulders...phone cameras, and some real ones too, clicking furiously...and then it happened...the lion sniffed the lioness and within seconds...little voices yelling..."mommy...daddy...what's he doing"...sex-ed 101...next zebras...up around the bend...all the while my silent prayer that all my body parts would survive the uphill walk that is a large section of the zoo...then more assorted large animals, and then a beautiful giraffe, oblivious to the world...devoted to his lunch...which made us realize how hungry we were...after our lunch it was the congo and the gorillas...as i leaned to watch this group...the large "alpha" male, who gave us quite a show with his up to the glass grin, and then retreat to his rock, and his family...i thought back to "gorillas in the mist" and sigourney weaver's brilliant portrayal of dian fossey...and of course my mind wandered...who the hell beat her that year at the oscars...and i had to google it..ah, jodie foster, "the accused"...where was i?...ah, yes...the gorillas...when they all looked like they were collectively doing the "we're bored performing so we are going to pretend to sleep" routine...we moved on...the reptile house...snakes...safely behind glass...me, imagining shoes and pocketbooks...a smiling turtle...then outside...a majestic tiger...so few left on this earth it makes you cry...beautiful snow leopards...a lone polar bear...pacing in boredom or perhaps hoping for a moron to scale the fence...an afternoon bite...we were getting punchy...we were approaching the 5 hour mark...we sauntered the downhill descent to the exit and our car...a nice afternoon and a pleasant time as a family...with college graduation a mere three weeks for lauren i got a bit wistful...and secretly was glad for that anthro paper...it's all happening at the zoo...i do believe it...i do believe it's true...

Running on empty...

i am sure if you're reading this you would agree...maybe t.s.eliot was right when he started "the wasteland" with "april is the cruelest month"...i usually feel this way when i wear snow boots and a parka one day...and then shorts and a tee the next...but this april is raining new kinds of crazy on us...the boston marathon...do i have to say anything else?...during a discussion with a rather nice cab driver yesterday en route to the lirr, we talked about the bombings...and both sadly expressed our horror when thinking of the world we are leaving to our children...sandy hook...countless college campus lockdowns since...i keep thinking about a brilliant independent film, "take shelter", in which the lead character cannot distinguish between insanity and the conviction of the approaching end of days and his need to build shelter for his family...i find myself avoiding the news this week...i don't know which revelation will let me sleep at night...that the bomber is a foreign terrorist...or homegrown...where does such hatred and lack of humanity come from?...it gnaws at you...last night i was fortunate enough to attend an event that reminded me of all that can be...i went to alice tully hall at lincoln center for "poetry and the creative mind"...a celebration for national poetry month sponsored by the academy of american poets...12 "celebrities" from very different paths - dick cavett, mario batali and patricia clarkson to name a few... read a few poems each...old classics...and new gems...and for the first time since the marathon story broke i felt myself breathe...smile..and laugh...and for that i was grateful...and then back to the subway, and reality...running forward...trying to keep going...but when i close my eyes i see the image...that runner falls...and i too am running on empty...

Elvis has left the building....

vegas...adult disneyland...i have just returned from a long weekend in sin city...no poorer...but no richer either...but it is a writer's dream in many ways...if just for people-watching...we stayed at caesars of "hangover" fame...although rather sedate on wednesday and thursday, thanks to some incoming conventions, california weekenders, and a thousand bachelorette parties, the place was filled to capacity by friday...the seismic shift in type of guest was first noted poolside friday afternoon...on one side there was a male redneck convention...each testosterone-fueled jerk topping the other in loudness, splashing and an apparent inability to keep a beer from spilling into the pool...on the other side, the objects of their affection...the overly faux-tanned, shouldn't be wearing that bikini, chain-smoking and dropping cigarette ash into the pool girls...and next to us, a well-intentioned young dad with his toddler son in tow...the ill-concealed pamper swelling...i thought i was doomed...choking from second-hand smoke...swimming in budweiser and whatever that pamper couldn't hold...that night we took a cab over to the hard rock hotel...taking a trip down memory lane to the big-hair eighties with def leppard...in the crowd were several men on the other side of 50 donning long-haired wigs...a nod to their youth...the band was incredible...the spoils and excesses of their stardom far behind them leaving their talent front and center...when it was over and we joined the long and winding line for a taxi i noticed one of the men with a wig surrounded by some young women...one who was about a minute from being sick in full view...so the man opened his mouth to talk to her...and there it was...not the swag of long-haired eighties rock...but the nasal drone of william h. macy via "fargo"...."ya, we've all been there"...i turned away trying not to break down in a full-blown laugh attack...then to my right i saw an ambulance and stretcher rushing into the hotel...yeah...back to the eighties...and finally, back to caesar's...and wouldn't you know...as we walked through the casino i spotted those girls...the sick one being dragged to an elevator by her friends...hey, at least it wasn't our elevator bank...ding ding ding...listen to the slots...the fall of the roman empire...

So it shall be written...

(in that anne baxter purr) "Oh moses, moses"...poll any number of young jewish children with the question, "what is your favorite jewish holiday?" and most likely there will be a rousing roar of "chanukah" as visions of presents and dreidels dance in their eyes...i, however, would have said passover...visually always "the ten commandments" in all its glory...as a child missing the humor in the casting (vincent price! edward g. robinson!) but remembering the beauty of debra paget and yvonne de carlo...oh, moses...in the amazing naivete of my youth, i believed it when my uncle pointed to the statue as we drove to robert moses state park, and said, "moses is buried here"...imagining holy sands beneath my toes...on long island!...but for me nothing will ever top the sweet memories of huge seders hosted by my grandmother or her sisters...my grandmother was the eldest of six sisters...as they married, had children, and their children had children, the family became quite large...i can close my eyes and see the table...at the head of the table, my grandfather and his brothers-in-law, singing in hebrew, joking in yiddish, yelling at everyone to be quiet in english...next, the women, taking turns sitting, cooking, serving and also yelling at us, the children, while the sounds of their laughter in the kitchen drowned all else...and us, the children, rolling eyes, crawling under the table in search of the afikomen (matzoh to be taken and held for a reward at the end of the seder)...escaping to apartment hallways to run and play, so happy to see cousins once more...and then suddenly i was a hostess...truly understanding after organizing a sit-down multi-course ceremonial meal that when it came to hosting responsibilities, at passover you wanted this holiday to pass-you-over...but secretly savoring the vision of your own daughter, giggling with her cousins way down at the end of your table...passover...a holiday that has it all...slavery, freedom, sorrow, joy and redemption...in ways not so different from all that this most holy week means for my christian friends...perhaps when we feel little hope for our community, or nation, or for our world, we should remember that sometimes the parts are greater than the whole...and sometimes random acts of kindness sustain us...happy passover and happy easter...and even if you don't travel either of those roads...here is wishing us all peace, and lightness of the soul even in the darkness.

it's not easy being green...

ah, st. patrick's day...when everyone is irish...when it rains beer down fifth avenue (well actually the day before this year, but i digress)...when everyone raids their closets for something green...i hate to admit it but most shades of green are not in my "color wheel"...i can pull off one or two...although they look better when i am tan...and not this tired shade of late winter...actually, for me one of the most joyous things about march 17th is that once you get over your hangover on the 18th you are two days away from spring!...but we all know that it's only a date on the march calendar...one that mother nature surely ignores...and yet, our cat, donut, is hopeful...gazing out the windows...waiting for the birds and their return...basking in the late-day sun...department stores, still reeling from yet another dismal season, tempt us with a rainbow of color as spring, and almost summer, clothing stare at us from every window display and circular...as we shiver in the artic march winds...spring is coming...and so is the easter bunny...who will no doubt hop a little faster so his cottontail doesn't freeze...and moses...miriam and aaron might want to hand him a north face coat this year...but that, as they say, is another story...this weekend i think of an old irish blessing, "may the road rise to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. may the sun shine warm upon your face, and the rains fall soft upon your fields. and until we meet again, may G-d hold you in the palm of his hand"...

the list is life

middle of the week...my "to do" list is drowning in the mess of my pocketbook...and my mind wanders...the oscars are over...an end to movie awards season...but i admit, for me one of the guiltiest pleasures in the weeks leading up to the big night is catching old oscar-winning movies on tcm and other networks...they remind me of what sparked my love affair with the movies...the night before oscar, there was another "oskar" on tv...oskar schindler...and there we were watching "schindler's list"...no matter how hard i try for composure the minute itzhak perlman plucks that first string i am gone...and there are other moments...the tears flowing freely during the ending...it is twenty years since the movie won best picture...and as i pause to reflect on what that means i realize that as a society we are approaching a point where there will be no one left from that generation...no survivors...no schindlers...no one who looked the other way...or looked in horror, helpless...no demonic leaders...no sheepish followers...all will be swallowed by time...as a second-generation american...jewish american...there is always unspoken gratitude that my beloved family never bore the tattooed numbers or emotional scars of survivors...and yet, we are reminded yearly, on yom hashoah, and during memorial services...during poignant pleas from the pulpit...that it is our obligation to remember...and i do...

there's no business like snow business...

almost valentine's day and it seems mother nature shot us in the ass last weekend...we all knew it was going to happen...after last year's winter which was a no-show for snow we seemed doomed...but then maybe we all thought after hurricane sandy we were owed one...or two...no dice...there it was...snow...and lots of it...someone answer this one...when did they start naming snowstorms...and who thought of using cute disney names?...nemo was that adorable little fish...ask anyone east of the nassau-suffolk borderline and they will tell you it should have been named "winter storm you're fucked"...and now i see the weathermen (and women) almost whispering the forecast...afraid they will be strangled when they mention the word snow...more days of cold temperatures and frosty precipitation...i found myself closing my eyes and dreaming of southern heat...until i saw pictures of a tornado a mile wide eating up mississippi...mouth agape, subconsciously clicking my heels together...looking for margaret hamilton on that broomstick...then shrugging and picking up my two-ton snowboots and gloves...spring is looming in the distance they say...but i keep thinking....they shoot groundhogs...don't they??