The Hunger Games...

ready...set...go...log on to the computer...refresh...try the phone...dial the number...leave it on speaker...is covid gone?...is Springsteen touring?...no, you are trying to get a vaccination appointment...every state has different protocol...or none...so if you live in a state where your neighbor's retriever is in the new group...others...like us weary New Yorkers...are stuck in neutral...the city bitches that "outsiders"...you know, Long Islanders...those from Westchester...are taking their appointments...and there you have it...frustration and anger under the skin of a society locked down for a year...there really is no method to this madness...and as this unfolds we watch states like Tex-ass plan on removing mask mandates...a state where roughly 6 million of a total 29 million Texans have been vaccinated...that's not a herd immunity state...methinks Gov. Abbott took statistics with Betsy DeVos...when the governor of Alabama disagrees with this...you realize how truly screwed up the whole thing is...healthy, younger not yet vaccinated New Yorkers...working and commuting...walking through the leper colonies of Penn, Port Authority and Grand Central...where the mentally ill unmasked population greet them each work day...I hope there is light and vaccine at the end of the tunnel for all...I hope we reach that herd immunity that's been drummed in our ears for months...if you have gotten the vaccine...good for you and I hope it keeps you healthy...stop bragging about it like you got front row seats opening night for Hamilton a few years back...somewhere out there on your social media feed is someone waiting for their turn...out there every day trying to do their thing...praying that the commuter coughing in row 3 has allergies...

(Don't) take the A train...

I happened to google "what happened in history today"...and there it was...in 1941 Duke Ellington first recorded "Take the A Train"...uh, no thank you, Sir Duke...if you've seen the weekend NYC news you will know that a 21-year-old man was arrested for a string of stabbings on the A train line...two people dead...others wounded and traumatized...although ridership is nowhere near what it was before the pandemic hit, subway crimes are up...unless you ask the mayor's office...then you will be met with charts that say no...this is not true...actuarial versus actual...just ask New Yorkers who do ride the trains...and many, I am sure, will profess less of a fear of Covid while riding...and more of a fear of accidentally brushing up against someone and being flung onto the tracks...or sliced like a Thanksgiving turkey...the abundance of mentally unstable individuals living underground is evident...the police have had their hands tied in legislative red tape as to how much they can do...and those who need the subway to get from point A to B to pay the rent...they are caught in a dangerous power play...an MTA teetering on bankruptcy cannot afford this public relations nightmare...the city cannot keep citizens from fleeing unless there is real help for the mentally ill...who need to be separated from the endlessly growing homeless population...so that when outreach groups try setting up housing for the homeless throughout the city they are not met with fear and anger from neighborhood residents...it's all easy to write in a blog...in reality, it takes money, and dedication...new laws, and revocation of laws that cause more harm than good...only then can we all ride that A train up to Harlem with a song in our steps...and not terror in our hearts...

Shadow dancing...

 tomorrow the length of winter is determined by a groundhog...yes, in the twenty-first century, we seek scientific advice from rodents...Punxsutawney Phil...Malverne Mel...Staten Island Chuck (who really should be called Staten Island Sal who goes to Denino's after for two slices)...tomorrow the rodents will be laughing from Pennsylvania to New York...and all along the Northeast corridor...the joke is on us...winter is back after last year's sabbatical and with a vengeance...but what I want to know...what's gonna happen in March when we hit the one-year mark from last year's quarantine...when they take Wuhan Willy - an ugly ass bat - and hold him in the sun?...will we get sprung loose...or endure six more months of quarantine...these are the things that float in my head...scary, huh?...because after almost a year of living in this painful alternative universe...this is what happens...I am like a lab rat...a rodent...a groundhog...subjected to a haphazard study of the effects of social distancing on the brain...when they take me out and hold me up tomorrow...will I see my shadow...or not?...it won't matter...me, I'm just waiting on Wuhan Willy...

Holier than thou...

 I am in the 2%...roughly...that is where as a Jew in 2021 I fall in the charts tracking religion in our country...Christians, which combine Protestant, Catholic, and Mormons, rack up somewhere around 65%...there are other small figures for many other of our fellow Americans, but the largest following Christianity is Unaffiliated...and yet, even in this little 2% sliver...I am subject to the anti-Semitic rhetoric and t-shirt display blatantly flaunted in our Capitol on January 6th...from a group dedicated to our current President...and for this, to date, there has been no condemnation from him...no distancing from this message...and so, if I follow "a" to "b"...this is more than a silent nod of approval to the rabid dogs who stormed the Capitol...theirs was merely a Pavlovian response to years of dogs whistles going back to Charlottesville...which leaves me in a sad and bitter place...if you are reading this and have ever been subjected to prejudice and hatred because of religious affiliation...or the color of your skin...or the accent which inflects your speech...you will understand that there are triggers...mild to severe...which will always lead you back to where you were left feeling your worth was less than zero...with all the visuals and audio from January 6th...it was actually those t-shirts that brought me there...and it leaves me wanting for a quiet seat in a synagogue...by an Eastern wall...to ask why?...why again and again?...and also begs me to ask...to the 65%...is this what Christ would do?...I think not...

A Capitol Offense...

 I promised I would not blog...after all...news and events are fluid...how can a writer capture change...so I will call this a written snapshot...today's events should surprise no one...the volcano exploded long ago and this is the lava pounding the streets you cannot outrun...Americans are allowed to feel disappointed in a close election...just ask Gore supporters 2000...they are allowed peaceful assembly...protest...they are not allowed insurrection...sedition...treason...I am strongly of the mindset that all Americans be given a basic civics quiz when registering to vote...you fail, you don't vote...kind of like driving...because the dangerous stupidity quotient is strangling this nation...do not throw the BLM protests in my face...because all those who peacefully protested had my support...the fringe inciting property destruction and violence did not...we all know that if these were BLM protesters on the Capitol steps today, smashing their way inside...we know they would have been shot, gassed, arrested faster than you can say MAGA...those who stormed the Capitol...confronted DC police...who refuse to leave now should be arrested...charged with treason...denied any stimulus checks...government financial support...they have severed the aorta of this country...they have broken my heart today...and they did it smirking, maskless, as so many of their fellow Americans are dying in hospital beds coast to coast of covid...I don't know where we go...I do hope to look back one day to this post...and nod my head that it was the lowest point for this nation...but of that I cannot be sure...can you?...

our lips are sealed...

 I waxed nostalgic and looked back at my thoughts a year ago...the awe and optimism...and puns of facing 2020...and here I am...year's end...looking forward to not looking back...deciding to put on some semi-real clothes...even if the celebration is in the living room...but there is one thing that definitely will complete this outfit tonight...lipstick...no mask means pulling out the cosmetic bag of various lip colors...gloss...matte...deep colors for dramatic flair...subdued neutrals begging for tanned skin...pencils for art...and suddenly my tired face will light up...those magical words of my Aunt Harriet in my head..."you have to wear lips, you never know who you'll run into"...well, I won't be running into anyone...but who cares...it is more than the lipstick...you all know the endless craving we have...the deep desire...to see mouths moving...laugh lines beckoning from the side of those mouths...and smiles...in all forms...from the grin to full teeth...and the glorious colors of lipstick...a brilliant mauve is calling my name tonight...before I face tomorrow...New Year's Day 2021...pale lips en mask...hoping we can toss those masks this year...and drown in a sea of smiles....

a woman's worth...

 in 2008 while perusing a local newspaper I saw a listing for a writer's group at The Women's Center in Huntington...I had been writing since elementary school...that first book of poetry was a soft-covered composition book...now buried deep in a plastic bin of memorabilia...I had been hoping to really write...structured with gentle critique...support...writing can be a lonely calling...and so I joined this group of remarkable women...I've always felt my writing has been the better for this decision...but not as much as my soul...the road of life is not linear...and it can be hard...everyone needs a safe place to land...and for me one of those important places has been Tuesday mornings...reading, listening, laughing and crying...at the First Church on Main Street...the Cold Spring Harbor Library...and now, on my computer screen...Zooming...our faces reduced to Brady Bunch squares...talent and wit intact...given the harshness of 2020...a pandemic eroding life as we knew it...perhaps it is only fitting, in the cruelest of ironies...that we lost two gifted beautiful women from this group...two voids that can never be filled...in January, Louella...and now, Lois...bookends...from a writer's view they were so different...each voice so unique...and then again...so similar in making their personal footnotes universal...I am sometimes lovingly called the baby of the group...although there have been a few women over these many years...peers born in Eisenhower/Kennedy years...but it truly never mattered...there really is no measure of years among kindred spirits...and for me, these women truly were that...how do we measure a woman's worth?...a thought we often ponder in the face of loss...Louella and Lois...their words will live on...in pages, CD's...in our memories and hearts...their worth a price above rubies...amen...