look before you leap...

2016...a leap year...extra day...now, if this happens to be your birthday...yea!...go you!...unless you're on the other side of 50...then maybe stick with march 1st...but seriously...an extra day of february...ah, that monthly commuter ticket thanks you...an extra day of winter...your dry skin thanks you...but an extra day of campaigning...no one thanks you...well, can't speak for all of you...but for me...i am done...i was really done when it started...and you cannot get away from it...because for the three media seconds that are not spent on the election...you get to hear about kanye's broke ass or another slashing in the big apple...or maybe it'll be winter storm "we didn't catch this one on the radar so you're stuck inside for three fucking days watching the weather channel and candidate debates"...yes, i am done with political promises, non-political assurances and analysis from pompous pundits...i moved to nassau county almost four years ago...with a tax structure that would make ponzi blush...and now this corrupt county had to hire a compliance chief...yes, another salary...for someone to literally oversee and babysit elected officials...oh, don't get me started...it's bottoms up folks...if it stinks at the bottom it rises to the top...ah, leap year...what we all really need is a leap of faith...and not the kind packaged for our consumption at the top...no, just the kind that helps us get out of bed in the morning...to keep trying to fight the good fight...raise our kids to care in a very unforgiving, and uncaring world...and catch them when they forget to look before they leap

what's love got to do with it....

several days ago...as i navigated through the costco parking lot...two days after yet more snow on long island...i observed the masses heading for the store entrance...having been deprived of bulk food shopping for 24 hours...looking like the walking dead...and then i heard yet another radio ad for valentine's day...and thought about it...someone once said to me years ago...it's just a hallmark holiday...and there is some truth to that statement...after all...what better way for retail to recoup the losses of january's Christmas returns...and i also remembered...not too fondly...the times when after struggling only weeks earlier to secure new year's plans...there i was again...hoping for more than a night of bad pre-cable tv on valentine's...that double punch if it fell on a saturday...flash forward and i was the mom buying packaged cards filled with disney princesses...crayons and markers...the deep desire for acceptance buried in each little card's catch phrase...and as we would pack them in a backpack i thought...lord, what's love got to do with this?...paper and chocolate dictating your worth...yesterday, i was at the register in macy's...and the salesgirl was joking with her co-worker..."just give me a date for valentine's, hell i don't care if we break up the next day"...i smiled at her and joked that valentine's and new year's were like the prom revisited each year...and she laughed in agreement...but somewhere deep inside she'd meant it...and i looked at her and thought...in the name of love?...not...screw you godiva!

"well i got some beer and the highway's free"..."

bruce!!!!...who better to lift you out of the winter doldrums...especially after days of navigating snow piles mile high...and slush corners river deep...so where did it start for you?...was it way back?..."greetings from asbury park"...born in the usa"...or more of a legacy passed down from your parents...for me it was 1981...the ultimate cultural exchange between close friends was about to unfold...me and jeannine...nyu days...i would share my love of ballet...and slight obsession with a certain male ballet star...hmm...what is the name...oh, yeah...baryshnikov...and then exactly on my 21st birthday...lincoln center...american ballet theater...misha (68 today!)...paired with cynthia gregory...we were left breathless with his first jete...and then that summer...the old brendan byrne arena...it was jeannine's turn...bruce!!!...half way through the concert..."sherry darling"...jeannine turned to our section screaming, and pointed at me..."her name is sherri"...and everyone turned around singing to me, beer flying...and when it was over...it was off to the record store...there have been several bruce concerts since then...and without fail...no "sherry darling"...oh, he would sing it on occasion...just in other cities...on other tours...so when "the river" tour was announced...i dutifully logged on to ticketmaster...waited...walked away from the laptop...and by some miracle two tickets popped up...so there we were last night...waiting...when a group sat down behind us...a bit older...a lot louder...obnoxious loud...reminded me of a classic woody allen line...what i would give for a sock of manure...but ok, i thought...who cares?...bruce, right?...and then it happened...they started discussing "sherry darling"...the "throwaway" song of the album...one guy defended it...loved it...couldn't wait...wanted to shake his hand...but the other one wouldn't shut up...and then his wife chimed in..."oh, he's going to sing the river?"...you know...you can't make this shit up!...thankfully, the roar of the band and crowd drowned them within minutes...and third song...well, you know...and i almost turned to sing (with a twist)..."he keeps talkin' he'll be walking that last block"...but, what the hell...hey, hey, hey...not this, sherri darling...

cause i'm already standing on the ground...

death is coming in multitudes of three's...it's drowning the soundtrack of my youth...and hurts on these short, brutally cold days...it allows no respite from the media-driven squawking these days...the discourse of our nation...the discourse of our globe...and there's that sudden skip your heart does when you realize that your age...and the age of those who've passed...well, that's a small gap...natalie cole...who lived longer than the ravages of her youth should have allowed...but that voice...that range...david bowie...androgynous beauty...limitless talent...the biting "suffragette city"...the sad and sweet "changes"...hypnotic "let's dance"...but it wasn't enough...glenn frey...who now will never sit in that box at the kennedy center...and watch his music eloquently dance below...will never marvel at the full circle that rock and roll can be...all now part of maudlin montages and social media excess...sadly, because although they may be our soundtrack...a song from that old transistor radio...turntable...car speaker...boom box...concert venue...cd...iphone...let's get some perspective...they're never going to be that empty seat at christmas or thanksgiving...they're sweet footnotes...or footprints in your memory...ah, but on nights like these...i'll admit...breaking out an old cd...i'll close my eyes...longing for that peaceful, easy feeling... 

the 100 blogs war...

so here it is..blog entry #100!...what started as a lark to keep me writing in may of 2012...still lives as we cross into 2016...and the cliché of mental resolutions continues as well...to write more...read more...and most importantly...listen more...to publish that second book...although as life kicks me around since that first book was published late 2010...isn't it always like that?...i stop and think about intent and result...and realize that trying to conform to the restrictions of small press agents and contests...well, that compromises intent too much...and so i will probably go it alone and self-publish one way or another...and that's fine...when i think about art and expression...all art...the most important result is not the sale (although some dollars would be nice)...it is striking a chord in the viewer...the listener...or reader...and making that tenuous connection...this year brought two performances in film that shook me to the core...and i suppose neither will get the recognition so deserved...blythe danner in "i'll see you in my dreams" and nina hoss in "phoenix"...the subtle power...love and survival...raw and ugly and beautiful...and affirming...and so we go on...maybe more focused for a few weeks...we try to keep our footing on life's slippery curves...wishing everyone the new year they wish for...and the life they deserve

oh, come, all ye faithful

so, again, in penn...and, once again, that wonderful violinist...and this time he was playing "oh, come, all ye faithful"...and it was quite beautiful...and haunting...and got me thinking as i swiped, and rushed for the 1 train...i thought about all those thin lines that separate...faith from fear...compassion from cynicism...those same lines that often divide us and swallow us whole...i marvel at those so steadfast and sure in their faith...sure enough that it is part of who they are...the very fabric of their being...we may agree on very little...but they will be the first to offer a hand in crisis...and then those who feel that differences compromise their faith...and go to great lengths to erase the difference...and lose the core of belief in the process...and i hear the strains of that song in my head...reminding me of a time so far back...in a crisp white blouse and black skirt...singing with a staten island chorus...oh, yes, way back when singing was part of my life...and the chorus was performing Christmas classics...songs that brought a pause of peace to my teenaged Jewish soul...and the memory reminded me of a core belief...we may pray to different gods...in very different holy houses...and quiet rooms...but we all hope to get to the same place...and that in itself should be enough...Happy Chanukah (a little late)...Merry Christmas...and most important...peace within

imagine...

so yesterday i was walking through penn station...lirr side...truly disgusting...am i telling you anything you don't already know?...and then i heard it...a violinist who plays for the masses who rush by ignoring him on a daily basis...he was playing "imagine"...and i felt a catch in my throat...the news these days is unimaginable...we shield ourselves with posts from the left and right and argue hoping to hide the anger and fear brewing at the surface...and please if you're reading this...then just read...the place for your political views is on your social media...but let's agree on one thing...this is not the world we want for our children...our nieces and nephews...our godchildren...this is not the world our grandparents envisioned for us in their final thoughts before they passed...and so i listened to that violinist...i should have stopped and lingered...but i raced on...raced towards what, really?...john lennon...would have been 75...brilliant and troubled...and all in between...maligned for his love for a woman many saw as the cause of the break-up of our beloved beatles...really?...life ended what was the beatles...and went on in four distinct separate paths...but music lives on...and those lovely violin strings reminded me of that...and i am wiping the tears because these days i can't imagine...and for that, mr. lennon, my heart breaks