the ties that bind...

the monday after a family wedding weekend...feeling comes back to your feet...the hairdo is falling...and life resumes...saturday, i was fortunate to share in the celebration as mike's cousin, matthew, exchanged vows with our new beautiful cousin, marlye...now, let's see..math...i met mike's family in 1987...and matthew was...four!...there's a grey hair...waiting for the ceremony i looked behind me at my daughter, and nieces and nephew...smiling and radiant...adulthood snatching them so quickly...now they are only babies in worn photographs....that afternoon i had pulled out my wedding album...waxing nostalgic, if you will...there i was...the hair, the makeup...the staten island hairdresser who promised me subtle but looking so much more tess mcgill than tess of the d'urbervilles...and you all know the feeling as years go by...the ache for all faces smiling in pictures...faces no longer here...and so as i looked around that night at the party at all the new faces...i smiled...and then shared a drink or two with dear sisters-in-law, and cousins...and even a niece!...and laughed during selfies...watched the torch pass...and hope to be passing it in those tight heels for many years to come...

the big chill....

joaquin...hurricane joaquin...almost behind us...had to load up on the entenmann's...in case of a power outage...the box is looking at me...oh, what the hell...my ass is gonna look big in that dress next week anyway...but back to joaquin...you gotta love it...a name no one can freakin' spell...hit or miss...kind of like a certain actor's career...but I digress...there it was...christie in his fleece...de blasio's 2015 tour interrupted....oh, and not to be outdone...fighting for lead story...massacre in oregon...putin shitting on syria...and me?...i had to pull out the long sleeves...slippers...pack the sandals away...sigh at fading tan lines...heat up soup for the first chill...and wonder...when did it really happen for me...or for you...when did the weight of this world leave me so cold...why does each tragedy elicit less of a response...this the new norm...and a dive into bad tv...or good...the latest novel...or obscure paperback on a sale rack...that pinot waiting for a special occasion...nothing really settles the unease...nothing really warms my core...i just find myself more cynical...more jaded...i pause to watch an ad for a local district attorney race...and one candidate claims the advantage...she is not a "politician"...i can't stop laughing...honey, the minute your name was entered you joined the circus...yeah, you all know the lyric...send in the clowns...don't bother they're here..

everybody's talking at me...

and i don't hear a word they're saying...here it is...i was driving today and in front of me was this suv...it had the decals on the back...representing the family...you know...cute little boys...girls...kitties...doggies...but after i lost count of the kids and pet decals i thought...where is this suv going?...cause when it parks i'm thinking of leaving a pack of trojans on the hood...oh, yeah, half of you are cracking up and the other half are yelling at your phones...and there it is in a nutshell... the conundrum of political correctness...and now in the political quagmire that presidential elections stir...i am wondering...which came first the chicken or the egg...the prejudice masquerading as political incorrectness...or the assertion that no one is ever wrong, we all receive a free pass...the guilty, and innocent...all to atone for past sins of political incorrectness...and this leaves me baffled...if everyone would just hit the damned pause button, and look in the mirror...if everyone did a little soul searching...would there really be anyone left waiting at those pearly gates?...l'shanah tovah to all...peace in your soul this new year...

think about the sun, pippin...

it is labor day weekend...in the blink of an eye, summer winds down...oh, i know she is not gone yet...she will roast us a few more times...probably around the jewish holidays when my tan toes will squish and cry in heels...my skin prickle in exasperation under the weight of wool-blends...but now, it is squirrel time...time to soak it in down to your core...and store it away deep inside...really open your eyes to september sunsets...ignore that moon grinning at you all too early in the evening...don't admit to anyone how you looked more than once at the rich palette of autumn colors tempting you in stores everywhere...crimson, burnt orange, chestnut...or how you closed your eyes and thought of the pungent aroma of pumpkin spice...no, now is the time for a crisp chardonnay or iced beer late in the day...september, always the ultimate transitional month...even if there is no one in your home heading back to school...we all head back to reality...a time when we harvest our summer dreams...hold them tight to nourish us in the dark that comes after fall...when we dream about the beauty in one perfect flame...ah, yes, pippin think about the sun...

hot child in the city

the dog days of august...and it's hot...it's a 10 on the frizz alert...my natural waves will look like shit...but i will stop...i will not break my vow made earlier this summer...i will not complain...but schvitz in silence...this summertime sadness is for my city...even if i no longer am technically a resident...i did grow up as a young child in brooklyn...then onto staten island...almost manhattan - nyu student (albeit commuter)...years in queens before the move to the "island"...but to this day...for all things that feed my soul and creative core...i am a child of the city...and i bet all who read this would agree...any pangs of nostalgia for city days gone by...whatever your current age...they do not revolve around those times in the seventies...you know...dark, dank subways...garbage piled high...hey, wait a minute...now when i walk around i don't need a flashback...it's here...the city is overrun with homeless...i read a very good editorial about this that had homeless divided into three categories...one, those who are not homeless at all, but find humor in shaking down people for money and seeing what their daily haul will be...think this isn't true...take a good look outside penn, port authority...somehow, i'm not laughing...two, the mentally ill...there is not enough time in this blog to address, without raising my pressure to unsafe levels, how we treat mental illness in this country...and then, three, those who have fallen through the very large cracks...i don't want to be insulted any longer by mayor dumblasio or other statisticians...this is their city...and these are offices they ran for, wanted , and won...so this is their inheritance...responsibility...and so i challenge them all to just walk the city...and pay attention...sit alone in any fast food establishment and wait...someone will approach you...ask you for money...aggressively...those minimum wage employees won't help you...foot police...that's a memory...what's left is your conscience, street savvy and divine intervention...then i challenge them to walk in any subway station...in any borough...and breathe deep...especially in august heat...then hit the ground running...and think of the best minds your administrations can bring to the table...rome in the twenty-first century...and the lions are hungry

Days of whine and roses....

a heat wave is hours away...humidity returning...my hair will look like i stuck my finger in a socket...and reality tv ate my brain...with all the myriad tv programming available...cable...netflix...streaming...i feel hyponotized by whether kaitlyn will pick nick or shawn...it's this thing lauren and i have...watching "bachelor" or "bachelorette"...a guilty pleasure that doesn't cause you to really think...although you find yourself analyzing for hours...who should be sent home...which contestant is the most certifiable...which couple will last beyond the first commercial break...but mostly it has me wondering about the nature of reality tv...and our obsession with it...i think about the leaders of the pack..."the amazing race"...i thought that was finding the shortest route from penn station to this week's sample sale...or "dancing with the stars"...or is it almost stars...or has-beens...or "we have no place left to go since they cancelled jerry lewis' telethon"..."the real housewives"...of new york...atlanta...los angeles...deer park...oops...well, not yet....and the granddaddy of them all...after next season, they are finally pulling the plug...a mercy killing...on "american idol"...ryan seacrest must be getting his aarp card already...but really...if you want to know why these shows multiply like hangers in your closet...if you can't find justification for the ratings numbers...even if they have been slipping...just put on your local evening news...watch the whole half hour...and then the national news for good measure...you'll be spinning that dial in a heidi klum minute..."america's got talent" anyone?

Grohl...you're my monkey wrench...

the best laid plans...back in november...as i wracked my brain for an anniversary gift for mike...a seemingly perfect one fell in my lap...the foo fighters would be playing their hometown - dc - on july 4th...which is also mike's bday...and mike is a foo's fan!...bam...got the tickets...presented them on our anniversary...when the rest of the tour was announced with one, then two, ny dates i thought maybe i should switch...citi field a little easier than rfk in dc...but mike said, "no, dc will be a fun getaway for my bday"...and then in june grohl fell off the stage on tour...and being older than he probably likes...46...did some good damage to his leg...cancelled the rest of the european tour...but silent on the july 4th concert...i googled daily, called ticketmaster and no one was sure what was going on...we thought of cancelling the hotel...but lo and behold two days before we were going to leave the foo's confirmed...and so we went...and the adventure began...first stop down the turnpike...lunch...burger king...royalty of the grossness of turnpike dining...mike's double cheeseburger was a single...returned...then a triple...was this a sign?...checked into the hotel....nice room...trendy sliding mirrored bathroom door...didn't close...not even close...we looked at each other...so as not to kill a 26-year marriage we switched...we sighed...dinner...mike ordered a seven and seven...the waitress came back eons later and asked again what drink he wanted...she had never heard of a seven and seven...this being dc, not zimbabwe i thought...another sign? hmmm...and then saturday there we were for a day long festival at rfk...let's put it this way...shea in it's last days was the four seasons compared to this shithole...open seating...we got two great seats...well under the overhang...rain was a possibility...this was about 12:15...we had hours to take in the humanity around us...many ages...many july 4th colors...then there were, of course, the few good ones you see at these events...apparently ted kaczynski had a twin...cause he wandered around the whole day...back and forth...aimless...shirtless...practically pantless...jerry garcia's twin was there too...that's jerry, the later years...about 100 pounds heavier...shirtless in gym shorts...a natural appetite suppressant...there were the lines...as always...at the ladies room...by late afternoon...the woman in front of me passed me a roll of toilet paper...everyone was ripping off sheets...she looked at me and said..."it's come to this"...oh, lord...there was an hour and a half storm delay...that was fun as the entire crowd on the field ran for the stands...before the concert resumed it was mud fest as one person after another dove into the gross field...to the cheers from the stands...and there were the requisite obnoxious drunks...of course behind us...one swaying back and forth and yelling...getting louder and louder...knocking into us, as ll cool j took the stage...and then suddenly we felt we were wet...it seemed one got sick on mike...it actually was beer...but no one messes with a fifty-five new york woman...i spun around looked at them and said, "you're fucked now"...got security who talked to them...the drunk moved...an apology from his friends...who still gave him beer all night...but all was right...because through all of this there was the music...incredible music from all across this country...as in the foo's sonic highway...trombone shorty and orleans avenue (you must see them at least once), joan jett  and the blackhearts, gary clark jr...heart (with the amazing ann wilson's voice soaring on "alone")...ll cool j...buddy guy...trouble funk...and finally around 9:20 (!!!) the foo's....when talking with people we all wondered what grohl would do with the leg cast...well...he had a movable throne constructed...that moved down the runway to the crowd...and with his guitar and elevated leg he rocked the stadium for almost two and a half hours...at one point...as he told the tale of the broken leg...he yelled something to the effect that there was no fucking way he would miss this show...which left me thinking...why the fuck didn't you say that to the press two weeks ago!!...an incredible show...and i had to kind of admit...that through all the wondering and waiting if we would be there...grohl, you were my monkey wrench...but as i left the stadium with thousands of fans into the night...i smiled and thought...there goes my hero...