material grill

i originally thought i would title this, "now is the winter of our discontent"...a rant about the obvious...the winter that won't die...blah, blah, blah...and then there were the Grammys...and Madonna...the hat, the suit, the cane...the grill...a too-touched up face leaving her looking a little too-Faye Dunaway...oy...but later on that night i got to thinking...what does a woman do when she reaches that certain age?...should she shop at "frumps are us" or raid her daughter's closet?...if she works hard at keeping fit, then what's acceptable to wear to flaunt it....and i thought more...if on the inside we are all still so young and evolving...then how do we translate that to the outside?...and i found myself feeling sorry for Madonna...always a pop cultural icon...yet for me more the queen of reinvention...i always thought of that song from "Gypsy" when she would take on a new persona..."you gotta have a gimmick"...and now the "gimmick" becomes a joke...so maybe Madonna should let go...and just sing...well...better yet...produce...get behind some new talent...show them the ropes and how not to get strangled by them...throw out the grill...and smile...let a few wrinkles and laugh lines show...be less the material girl...and, you know, how that real 80's goddess, Cyndi Lauper sang...show her true colors...at this certain age, she owes nothing less to herself, and to us...

his, and her(s)...

a sunday in january...the golden globes...the official start of awards madness...so i think of the films i saw this year...those i missed...those i hope to see before they disappear to the small screen...what we like or hate about movies is a subject as wide as the grand canyon...and how does a couple choose what to see when their tastes are often...different...sometimes, it seems the choice is mutual...often, we joke, this one's yours...next one's mine...and so it would seem that it was my choice last week with spike jonze's latest, "her"...i will preface this by saying that i do really like spike's movies...many do not...and i was more than curious by reviews and trailers...i really liked it...the premise...the acting...the direction...you get it...i glanced at mike about twenty minutes into the film...oh, no...there was that look...it was kind of the same look he gave me during "pulp fiction" a million years ago...a movie, which i should tell you, he now watches anytime it pops up...i wondered how many movies of his choice i would have to sit through in exchange...i cringed...and found myself back at the multiplex last night..."the wolf of wall street"...let me give you a brief background on this one...i am a graduate of nyu's tisch school of the arts...before it was even tisch...although i was a television major, it was still in evidence through those old halls (again before the beautiful new digs on broadway were built) that we all were to worship at the shrine of "marty"...martin scorsese...nyu's esteemed graduate...and so i always find myself approaching his films with some indoctrinated adoration...mostly deserving...although not all the time..."wolf"...three hours later i cannot tell if i really liked it...it was certainly not like most scorcese films...or was it?...i did feel a bit nauseated when i, too, laughed with the audience...and this a long island audience...the home of stratton oakmont...would they laugh as loud if the subject was madoff?...then there was all the excess...profanity, drugs, nudity...footage...all understandable given the subject matter...but the movie was too long...and the portrayal of women...ah, there it is...as much as i have admired, and loved, some of "marty's" films...he most definitely has always had difficulty with his female characters...in this one alone why does the audience feel almost more sympathy for jordan belfort than his second wife, naomi?...i thought back to vera fermiga's character in "the departed"...lorraine bracco in "good fellas"...blah, blah...and so, as i wonder about all of this...and ready for the globes tonight...which is the greatest joke in hollywood...how does the foreign press explain "her" in the comedy category...anyway, when i watch, and ponder "wolf" i will need to really wonder...if i sort of liked it...who chooses the next flick???...such the dilemma as we dive deep into january...keep warm... 

old lang's sign...

and so it is a cold, sunny New Year's morning...the quiet before a snowstorm...or not...depends on whether your weatherperson sees forecasts as "half empty" or "half full"...but anyway... it is always a time of year of some sort of reflection...and I got to thinking about that old New Year's tune, auld lang syne...for those of my generation, this song was always the background when the big ball dropped in Times Square and Dick Clark told us it was a New Year...or for others, it was those last few minutes in "The Poseidon Adventure" when Ernest Borgnine, Shelly Winters and Gene Hackman clasped hands smiling before the boat flipped and they climbed and yelled for two hours...this year I decided to research the lyrics...the words that no one knows and everyone mumbles through the alcohol haze at midnight...and I smiled...so simple, so beautiful...and it became clear...the texts, emails, phone calls, holiday cards...reaching out to old friends, and new ones...family near and far...hoping to close the distance, literal and figurative, in the New Year...hopeful before the reality of life swallows us whole again...like that tidal wave in "Poseidon"...and so I leave you some of the lovely words of Robert Burns...as I reach out to wish you all the best in 2014..."And there’s a hand my trusty friend ! And give me a hand o’ thine !
And we’ll take a right good-will draught, for auld lang syne."

b.o. humbug

it is almost Christmas...and since the greasy smell of latkes are long gone for me, I am remembering Christmas smells of my childhood...those holiday smells for Jewish kids on Christmas...depending on the weather...buttery popcorn at the movies...or a crisp waft of fresh snow, ice-skating outdoors...then my poor nose defrosting over the steam of hot chocolate...mmm...a plastic container of egg drop soup...back to reality...these past days...it's been a somewhat unpleasant potpourri...the aroma of December rain underfoot...or what was supposed to be a fresh pine arrangement over my hairdresser's chair...she said it was causing her nausea...she found it kind of putrid...asked what I thought...I inhaled and agreed, "nella, that's 70's subway"...today, at physical therapy (another story) as I moved to use some arm bands I came within a few arms lengths of a fellow patient...he was around my age and was usually there on the same days...loved to show his muscles in tanks no matter the weather...I counted as I stretched...one...two...ew...what the hell was that?...three...four...holy shit...he wreaked...it was the longest count to thirty of my life...but then I can always thank my memory...still relatively intact...and I closed my eyes...I floated back to wonderful smells of Christmas at neighbors and friend's homes...trees...candles...a plate of cookies still warm placed in my lap...for all my Christian friends...wishing you the most blessed day...and may all your memories be sweet and heaven scent...

rolling in the deep....

back from a cruise celebrating our 25th anniversary...within the first hour of boarding I thought I'd hit the writer's jackpot...a virtual explosion of material after days of a drought...first, the reservation line at the Italian restaurant...the foursome in front of us had literally walked out of a Seinfeld episode...the poor hostess was doing her best...she offered different dining times but the leader of the pack was not sure he'd make the show in the theater with each one she offered...this with two shows an evening...but he wasn't convinced...would he really make the beginning of the show...and still the hostess tried...with patience as deep as the ocean...mine was wearing thin...next...an incredible amount of scooters every where I went...no disrespect to any disabled fellow traveler but when one came within inches of ramming my ankle I began to read my future obituary...death by scooter...most had no clue how to operate them...but that did not stop their plowing into elevators and crowds at the buffet...again, I thought of Seinfeld and the episode where George was chased by an angry mob on scooters...our first stop was Princess Cays, in Eleuthera...a great little spot run by Princess...as I sat on the beach, the ocean in front, I thought, paradise...Bob Marley from the speakers..."One Love"...how nice...then I heard the song a second time...and soon realized it was a continuous loop...after the 20th time I thought if I heard that song again I would scream so loud they would hear me in Nebraska...I may have to burn my CD...that night as we headed south we encountered a nasty weather pattern and strong winds...let's just say I thought I saw Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio floating by as I stumbled into the cabin and prayed for a good wine-induced coma...when we did hit land after that, in Curacao the weather was not too pretty...it made for interesting dinner conversation that night with other couples...to our left was a charming couple from Florida...he was a spry 92!...very much like Lloyd Bridges in his later years...his wife, 82, was adorable...they'd been married 19 years - second marriages for both...when he helped her to her feet at the end of dinner and escorted her on his arm I couldn't help but smile...the weather changed the next day...the sun finally returned...our day in Aruba was great...but with the sun came a new horror...men well on the far side of 50 in speedos!...is it just me?....and most were married...who were these wives?....but then I saw something else...a man who obviously had some type of disability named Eddie had become the star of the cruise....he was everyone's friend and cheerfully had the crowd clapping and smiling when the live band played Luke Bryant for him...the last day as I left the pool there was Eddie...smiling with his new friends...I turned back and he cheerfully waved bye to me...and now I am home and it is snowy and cold...and in no time my tan will fade and the daily grind will have me again...but I really think I will always remember that older couple...the twinkle in their eyes...and the real joy strangers felt in Eddie's smile...a wonderful way to celebrate our milestone...and the real message of the holiday season...

Happy Hanksgiving....

in my sweats before dressing for work...wondering if it's spring or Siberia outside today...mother nature is having a field day with us this autumn...taking time to breathe before a crazy week...Chanukah...my 25th wedding anniversary (yikes)...and Thanksgiving...which basically translates to latkes, chocolate, a nice dinner out, chocolate, turkey...and chocolate...I promise to burn my scale in anticipation...but you may wonder about the title of this post...it is a reference to my seeing "Captain Phillips" last night...I, personally, have never been a huge fan of Tom Hanks...I actually have preferred him in many of his less commercially successful films...this time, forgiving the somewhat confusing accent, he won me over...with his eyes...his face conveying everything to us...and this, by allowing himself, so far, to age naturally as opposed to like...I don't know 99.9% of Hollywood...but it is this true story that got me thinking...and as much as you root for Captain Phillips...there is such sadness in the plight of warlord control of the Somalian people...and the non-actors portraying the Somali pirates...so painfully thin...these pirates with nothing to lose...and nothing to live for...and here I am at Thanksgiving week and the crazed month leading up to Christmas...a season where much of the meaning is forgotten and society is driven to debt-frenzied excess...and I know I cannot cure the ills of much of the world...and the cruel circumstances of Somalis or even those without in my own backyard...so to speak...but I think I will be a bit more mindful of the Salvation Army bucket...food pantry collections...and a charity or two that will feed and keep those less fortunate warm this season...and if Tom's name is called Oscar-time next year I promise not to scream at my flat-screen in the warmth of my living room...Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

both sides now....

ah...joni mitchell is 70 today...i must admit, i was a little late in the game, as they say, in becoming a true fan...yes, joni's lyrics and haunting soprano formed much of the background noise of the 70's for me...but the true beauty and genius of her poetry didn't hit me till later...and maybe that's how it should have been...without sufficient life experience, love and loss how could any of the words resonate so deeply?...i also admire that joni is more than a musician, and poet, but also a painter...a renaissance woman, if you will...although as a poet, joni's lyrics have been painting pictures for me for years...haven't you heard "circle game" in your own head at some life event?...or "chelsea morning" in a brilliant summer sunrise?...and so when i am back at the game of writing today...poetry, that is...and i feel discouraged when buried in a sea of rejections for a new manuscript...like i keep banging my head in a wall hoping for a different result...i'll instead think of joni...and the longevity and legacy of her writing...and painting...and start again...the november sky will always be painted with her haunting lyric, "see the geese in chevron flight flapping and facing on before the snow, they've got the urge for going, they've got the wings to go"...as it should be...